13 October, 2011

Disagreement do happens

We demand freedom to dress, to eat, to learn, to speak, follow and express whatever we wish.

Few days back I was with my friend chatting about something very casual. Sharing views about something wasn’t a big deal. But unfortunately we broke into first debate and then into a serious argument following a quick chuck-it moment.
Fighting in a boxing ring to be a champion is considered correct as it is about sports. But fighting with friend, with the taunting punch lines is not right. Fighting with hurtful words with friend is easy as long as you do not want to be friends anymore.
We all know argument happens when two people or parties have two views of point with distinctive properties.

However, I have always believed that for or against both could be right, depending on which side of the circumstance we are standing. 
Hence, most of the time though I have my own prospect of ideas, I tend to empathize and agree upon two different thoughts at the same time. I consider firmly that I’m right and so as you are with regard to your ideas and if the discussion is healthy, we will sure to meet up with some common point.

Since judging depends on the kind of prospect you looking forward, your past learned experiences and a basic motive you follow in feelings.

Yet there are times when, I do get aggressive and tend not to concur easily with other’s point and hence prefer to stick to my personal outlook. Reasons could be many but two are important that it I could be thinking that “I’m right”, thought this does not mean that “you’re wrong” or I might hope that other person should try to understand my observation too.

Honestly, for me proving right or wrong has been never an issue so far.
To prove your outlook is right is actually your very much right but indulging in proving that other person’s views are wrong, is not the acceptable approach. Perhaps humiliating and trying to make a person feel guilty for something, which he/she have not done in any case, is a very moving moment while discussing a broader issue. I’m sure there are plenty other nice and positive ways to prove your point.

Between tell me, is there anything absolute good or bad in this world.
Very rational question, I know, hence don’t be stubborn only to prove your presence. I ruined a simple conversation by sticking to my thought and perhaps my friend too was inflexible and stuck in thoughts.

Instead of stretching the topic, we decided not to conclude the conversation since it was already so heated discussion that we abruptly called it off to topic and talk simultaneously. It was quite a distressing, poignant moment and then after.

Now I’m left with few thoughts pondering upon:
  • I’ve no idea if we have gained anything worth after that argument.
  • I think we still remain same and have not changed our thoughts, that accepting and respecting other’s views too.
  • Do not judge a person by a debate, it might fall into shrills anyway.
  • Dispute shall always remain and so as discussions.
  • For argument or freedom of speech sake don’t ruin the relationship with misleading words.
  • Discussions are learning experience to create a new understanding about topics and getting closer to value people mind.
  • It is not meant to be forceful convincing or aggressive emotional persuasion.
  • Having a discussion is very boring. ‘Let’s argue instead’ is a negative approach.
  • Agreement is not necessary but acceptance to have different opinion is important.
I wish we could 'Agree to Disagree' at least on few instants for acceptance of harmony indirectly for the sake of the long friendship we posses. I definitely cannot afford to lose it, Dear Friend!
Read more about Art of Disagreement at Jakyastikblogs!


  1. Arguments get you nowhere, only create more discord. The best way is to either "accept" if it is accordance with your conscience or withdraw and act as per your own inner voice.

  2. @Vikram Karve Sir

    I agree with you! Perhaps I think if we are in a group its easy to withdraw since there is someone to keep you balance kind of a middle person. However when there are only two people left debating over something, its difficult to control other's extreme emotions and as well as your relatively different approach. Managing is not impossible but since it's all in a one single moment, often we forget or ignore to be cordial and latter regret!

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  4. Acceptance is a niche attribute that many of us lack. The other side might have a substance too. You might well be ignoring it..

    Good post

  5. @Vinod R Iyer

    Firstly thank you for your valuable comment. Perhaps, though this post is written on one single experience, let me assure you that I'm not ignoring or degrading other's point of view however I personally cannot appreciate a behavior which shows that other's views are less important. For me Respect and Acceptance come from both side reflecting comfort in thoughts and ideas.

    Please do correct me if I'm wrong!!!

    ~Keep the Spark ALive..


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