07 August, 2010

Goodbye

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 13; the thirteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

While he was leaving back for home in the office-bus, he could not get my glance in the bus. Soon he decided to call off today going by the office-bus. And straight away he came to the nearby cafe, where we used to hang around after office hours and interestingly he found me sitting all alone with two cups of warm coffee, both cups cold and untouched. And before he could ask or say anything to me, I said in a low voice yet intact tone, “I was waiting for you here...come sit...we need to talk”

He sat next to me. I was so angry and he could sense that.
Well after repeating in mind few lines how to break the ice, he said with conviction, “I’m really sorry for my being so rude to you today in the office”.
“It okay...” I said instantly. He wondered if that really did not bother me or I was still angry on him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. He understood there was something else that was bothering me.
“You should have told me...you considered me as your best friend, isn’t it...then why you have hid this from me” I said in one breath.

He was so much puzzled...what was that bothering me so badly..?
Suddenly I uttered, “She is your girl-friend, since how long...you never told me about her, all you said you like her?”
He visualized, “Okay...it was this which was bothering me so much, but then second thought came to his mind soon but why she is getting so hyper over it.”
He asked me to calm down but I was unwilling to hear anything than what actually was asked. He tried getting precise yet candidly said “few days back she proposed me and I said yes.”

I kept staring him hard without a single blink.
“There was a silence after the storm or may be a silence before a storm, no it was rainstorm!” he exclaimed silently. A tear slipped my cheek...and I swiftly picked my bag and walked away.

_There was no time to react, he asked me to stop but I did not pay attention towards him. Disconcert on my tall heals I walked away. He crushed down the chairs in the cafe and rushed behind me. He caught my hand. As he squashes his body towards mine and his face towards mine, as he gasps surge down my face and saw my dark eyes wet-wild in pain.

He could understand yet ignored eavesdrop his heart pounded aloud and shout, “Boy, this girl loves you...just as much as you do”. Though the same still moment he also knew, staring at my watering eyes that this was about to end...the bond we shared have frozen in confusions and expectations to learn each other.

I still maintained my damn silence but my dark moist eyes said more than a single story.

He could not resist and decided to confess the whole without being asked for. Because he knew, I would never ask for an explanation nor would I understand without being said it all.
“Why didn’t you tell me this...O God, why I could not ever understand what you felt so implicate intensely and your unspoken urge?” He said without a hesitation.

“I have always liked you...but feared of losing you and your friendship, which is so precious to me...hence I could never make up my mind to tell the truth above all you always got so irritated with the word ‘love’ every time I mentioned...” he in a lament tone said in continuity in pain in the moment of misery.

I waited for my wish, if he whispers holding my wrist, ‘Don’t Go’...

Though, soon with an unheard notion I left the place at ones saying ‘Goodbye!’ which more or less echo in my life...


++++++++++++....................++++++++++++

It was early morning I suddenly woke up, it was still dark. I felt a bit giddy and bushed, thought may be because of sheer bad dream I saw.
I wondered, “How could I ever say Goodbye to him for he is sure a very special person of my life!”

I can still recall when I saw him first; he was sitting at the corner of the window of the office-bus, listening to his iPod with his dark brown shabby hair falling over one eye. Then he looked at me and everything froze. We had joined the office as trainees and were new to the place and people.

We got introduced and quickly became friends.
It was that moment almost 8 months back when he hardly gave a tiny glance over me and here is the other string of the meeting when he almost every day hold a seat for me next to him in the office-bus and we go every alternate day for the coffee outside also make sure to meet sometimes at weekends. Life is really good when he is around!

Absolutely he has found a great friend in me.
And I do share unbound so many of my secrets and stories with him.
_I sure trust him lot indeed for he did help me to come out of the trauma I was suffering from a bad-relationship break-up. He was definitely a ‘Godsend’ at those poignant moments for me.
No hiding or secret, even I consider him as one of my very close friend, in fact more than a friend, though he does not know...for certainly because of the past incidents I doubt my feelings every time I get butterflies in my stomach...

Tringgggg.....wakeUp Alarm call

Indeed it was the most irritating ear-piercing sound of the alarm clock. It was an alarm to wake up though I woke up before time today in early morning. Suddenly I realised, I did yesterday walked away from the cafe. And soon everything I remembered.
Yesterday was a longest day of my life, “I was in the cafe, with two cups of coffee on my table....”

"I did say Goodbye....but he was not around...” Actually he never turned up to meet me in cafe yesterday. “He didn't chase after me or catch my hand...”

I remembered that I said ‘Goodbye’...
..to the lingering attachment,
..to the happy duet times,
..to the gigantic giggling sound on silly gist...
..to the care he took for everything..
..to the way he pampered me purposely being a buddy.

_In reality, I have been as a regular practice waiting for him everyday same time past 7days to share a lot of stuff happened recently in my life, in office. But may be only today I have woken up to the real truth...where neither actually he knows what a lot I feel for him nor he ever tried penetrating into my eyes or heart to know the genuine.

Dishearten and gloom lying all dull on my bed. I kept thinking a lot...about him and about many things related to him..! In my mind, I believed I couldn't go on. I cried, I screamed. Couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate, and couldn’t do anything and on the other hand I had any idea what to do next. I could feel my heart sinking and fragile.

But what after so much I’m still not willing to acknowledge the fact that we have actually parted from being friends... (reasons unknown thrashed upon us). So he moved on with her only to avoid further complications would have or were having to some extent.

No! it wasn’t a rejection...I soon reflected that sometimes good-bye are good only to give you enough time to decide being fair and choose the correct thing and not grabbing a sheer chance, by chance.

It was good-bye but I never gave up...my good-will!

“And I never wanted him and his girl-friend to part away...” I murmured lying on my bed watching the ceiling...

I learnt then that Goodbye was just a word...I closed my eyes and still wished all well for him every passing moment..
“I did owe him...if not completely or precisely his presence yet his forth friendship...” I held candidly.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+
Goodbye Butterfly
Goodbye (c) rachi creations..
to Enlarge view click the picture

Ikept poised and followed the grace of gradual time.
It’s almost a month passed. I said goodbye to summer and said hello to spring...though only I know how difficult it is to gain from a Goodbye glitch!
We still keep looking each other from the distance without a word being shared yet thousands of best-wishes passing on while we exchange an awkward smile.

Goodbye doesn’t decide to create the last chapter yet relatively it starts with new bloom beginning depiction. It’s a prospective and phrases to believe in a simple yet a compound word description.
+ In brief Goodbye makes us grow!!

“I grew with it...and looked around what else the little world holds for me...which is grand and gentle than Goodbye”

I’m glad that I had a fraction of his time as a friend, yet I truly mean that ‘I said Goodbye’
...But then I’ve been gifted by the wonderful bits of memories preserved.
It provides me a miraculous making with merry moments of my Wonderland yet it grants temporary getaway from the rude-reality.
...i said Goodbye to word Goodbye..
_So that here I can recall the sweet strong smell of summer cold coffee in the cold bleak winter day while sipping the hot mug of delicate dark chocolate. Or in the middle of conversation with someone who has just heard me speak, I wonder if my words and ideas were his...

~ I looked upon the flawless illusion and got moved at the colourful butterfly features, grazing, fluttering in the fleeting time...surviving a smile against the gusty breeze!

+ And now often I prefer to say ‘Hi’ and when circumstance compel to part...I learnt to say gratifying ‘Thank- you’ which is grand, gentle and more gracious than 'Goodbye'... to Celebrate the glory of goodtime we had together, which I shall ceaselessly cherish in goodwill and in good faith!...

~ Life has its own way; style, spark and gear to teach you tiny tints of edify evident means to be ALive... I said Goodbye to word Goodbye...


~Keep the Spark ALive..
Note: The above drawing is made by thyself as an extension of Rachi Creations..

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

36 comments:

  1. very deep and heartbreaking indeed.. As friendship is everthing to us, Humans. sometimes we keep it silent, thus we are afriad of losing them. yet it's the best to face your fear..

    Enjoy'd it.. hope it's the best choice

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  2. @ Nasra

    Thanks for being so prompt and commenting so well...It really encourages me :))

    Back to your comment...sure..We Humans are true emotional fools. Sometimes yet just sometimes...we for the sake of other's bliss ignore our own wishes...!
    And yet sometimes...though we fins same bliss in ignoring our selfish need!

    Perhaps, I truly believe that facing our own fears is the best one can do..for one got only one life to live!!

    However, Sometimes 'its the hardships' latter makes us feel glad for we sure learnt something worth!


    Thankyou so much for leaving your words:))

    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  3. Hmm great writing well hats off to you Rachana can feel the cold coffee in the cup and the unspoken tears.. Though life is not colourful always, I am with you as one got only one life to cherish.. It is your wish how you want you to do it..
    I always follow your blog.. Though promised you for writing.. So atleast writing this comment..
    Hoping for some nice writings ahead

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  4. A sad story. From friends to mere acquaintances. :(

    And yes, we must learn to say goodbye to goodbyes.

    The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us
    Points at your flaming hair, and then we're playing hide and seek
    I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us
    Till' in the John mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak

    And we keep driving into the night
    It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye



    Nice post Rachana

    Cheers
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  5. beautiful story...:-)

    know what Rach? I always tell someone I love that the hardest part in any relationship is bidding 'goodbye'...

    or even when a loved one places a call, it's too hard to end the conversation and say 'goodbye'...

    what more, so many relationships when they fail, uttering the word 'goodbye' seemed to sound like an atomic bomb, it will make u explode and shatter you to pieces...

    picking up the pieces, you felt like not wanting to hear that anymore...

    my fave line in a song goes this way: "i can't say goodbye to you, no matter how i try, you're such a part of me, without you i would die deep in this heart of me, i know that you and i were meant to be forever, i cant tell you goodbye"

    lols....that was 20-25 years ago na...:)

    all the best dear for BAT...:)

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  6. beautiful story...:-)

    know what Rach? I always tell someone I love that the hardest part in any relationship is bidding 'goodbye'...

    or even when a loved one places a call, it's too hard to end the conversation and say 'goodbye'...

    what more, so many relationships when they fail, uttering the word 'goodbye' seemed to sound like an atomic bomb, it will make u explode and shatter you to pieces...

    picking up the pieces, you felt like not wanting to hear that anymore...

    my fave line in a song goes this way: "i can't say goodbye to you, no matter how i try, you're such a part of me, without you i would die deep in this heart of me, i know that you and i were meant to be forever, i cant tell you goodbye"

    lols....that was 20-25 years ago na...:)

    all the best dear for BAT...:)

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  7. hi Rachana,

    you know, u have narrated this effortlessly.. :) the secret love revealed, the goodbyes and then realization that a goodbye isn't really an end... yes, seeing ur comment above(to Nasra), facing fears is the best thing one can do in this life.. but maybe the fear to lose friendship is a bit tough to face..

    loved the story.. and yeah, its one of the best i've read till now.

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  8. Hey that a very moving tale with a wonderful philosophical touch.. Lovely narration.. All the best for the batom..

    and ya better to bid goodbye rather than keeping the pain with u all along.. :)

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  9. Hi Rachana,

    A heart touching post ,Its a wonderful feeling to be in friendship ..life looks completely changed and energy level increases manifolds , but sometime ...of some unexpected happens ..once the friendship that looks so ..unbreakable .. sometime gets us so high and dry .. and leads to the touch decision to say ..a Goodbye..a term which was never in the dictionary of a friendship but evolves suddenly out of blue..

    a Nice read...

    take care

    all the best :)

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  10. Some 'Goodbyes' are very easy to say and some never happen and we continue feeling the pain of a half broken relationship making it hard for both the sides to move on.I would say the 'Goodbye' in your story though painful but was necessary.
    Very well scripted story..almost gave words to the deepest of your thoughts thats what makes you a great writer :)

    Continue the great work Rachana..you rock!!

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  11. @ Fried Water

    It makes me so happy to know that you follow my blog and love reading! Also it makes me so glad so see you commenting..it sure encourages me a lot:))


    Plus what strikes me to know that you noticed some tiny things of post...Keep visiting for i shall try more to bring in right emotions in my posts!

    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  12. @ Blasphemous Aesthete

    Wow..you gave so beautiful tag line"From Friends to mere Acquaintance"...if I was not bound to write a specific title for the post coz of contest..I could have sure chnaged to this line... :))

    And you always come up with some creative lines...which are just adoarble and synz so well with the kind of emotions...


    Thanks for everything..the tag line..the comment and the presence!

    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  13. @ Dearest Amity

    Sure I hate the word Goodbye..moreover I could never do so practically for sure the memories keep comming back...so I'm glad and blessed I feel :))

    But sure saying goodbye to bad-relationships is good..the before the better to avoid sufferings...

    I liked the way indeed you actually picked up the scattered pieces and summed to awesome song line...Though I have not heard it, I guess..but sure will love to know the song more...

    lols 20-25years ago...sure its an impressive number but worth to remember..!

    Thankyou for all your best wishes :))


    Luv yeah always...
    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  14. @ Leo

    Well it makes me Happy to see that when you read this post it felt effortless...for a lot a hell lot of churing of thoughts and dark emotions gulped me while writing it to give right back up :)

    Vinay/Leo...this also amazed me how in beautoful notions you summmed up the reading in line "the secret love revealed, the goodbyes and then realization that a goodbye isn't really an end"...i think you it absolutely so correct..and nothing more than this can be so wonderful for the person who has created it to convey the emotions reached so perfectly!!

    Thankyou so so much for writing the comment and for making my day :))


    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  15. @ Sushobhan Roy

    I'm excited to know that you found the post nice with the narration and the philosophical touch!!


    Thanks for thr best wishes :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. @ Vivek

    Yep! I think you got the essence of the post...! So true..and life have so many turing points...some so easy to deal and some to tough to get along...

    Definitely I have kept the word Goodbye out of my dictionary...for i revisit all the emotions, people, places, pleasure, prayer anytime I like...blessed with the preserved notions of grand-slam album of best sweet memories :))


    Thanks for leaving your comment :)
    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  17. @ Rahul Rawal

    It is alwasy to wonderful to see when the thoughts of the reader and writer matches. I feel as if what I tried to convey...have been adapted well in words for your comment sure reflect the fact it matches the zing points!!

    SO So happy as always to see that you liked the read for you are an artist...and write so well...and words comming from there mean a lot :)) Thankyou for all your best wishes!

    ~ Keep the Spark ALive..

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  18. although it was a heartbreaking story, I loved the fact that it had an optimistic end (in prose) and factual beginning to it.

    ATB for BAT13
    Gkam - Goodbye

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  19. While i was reading the first half, i just felt it as just another story with quite expectant lines...
    As the story reached the end and the introspective retrospection or retrospective introspection made all the difference..... the second half gave the hints of ur stamp and sparks...

    All one can do is to bid goodbye to further growth of a relation but cannot bid goodbye to the existing/existed bond between them....

    When a tree cannot cannot grow vertically, it grows horizontally, and it does with out complaining ...

    Goodbye is a good way of saying that things were good...and those good things will make future things much better.....

    Liked your strata of mild analysis and moderate synthesis ....

    Good bye does nothing when it is a full stop, but can create wonders if it is a conjunction ... sometimes a goodbye accumulates all the love on has within him...

    To lead life after a good bye needs a balanced and composed mind with matured thinking.

    A goodbye may seem like an end, but it always paves path for many new beginnings , in fact there is no place for end in good bye....all it has got is heart felt memories of emotional flavours.

    Btw, how ant writing the same story from the hero's girl friends perspective ?

    Instead of chasing butterflies, better to cam down.....who knows it may sit on our shoulder anytime...isnt it rachi creations saying more ?

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  20. @ Gkam

    Thanks for visiting the page and also making an effort to comment! It really brings smile on face to see the post being appriciated for its flow and more imp. the end which is actually the positive beginning!

    ___Indeed...eachone of us have diffrent notions and need of being in love...for some who think love is the presence and public declaration...yet there are still the people who believe that love is just wish the best for thr loved one even if it is a distance or a sheer gap of time!

    DO visit the page again :))

    ~ Keep the Spark ALive..

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  21. so expressive..i can just visualize with what all you have written..

    ending was unpredictable, and the best..

    nice to see it ending on a good note

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  22. I like the free spirited nature of the protagonist.
    I just started writing and the encouragement is an awesome dose to keep us going.
    best of luck for bat13 :)

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  23. There were tears in my eyes after reading the first part. I liked the post very much though I hate love triangles. I hate it more when I'm the lonely, wrong and the sad angle. The story portrayed the feelings of that girl very well.
    Anyway, all the best for BAT!! :)

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  24. @ Mahesh

    Because you said..."When a tree cannot grow verivally, it grows horihontally..."..So i think the gracious THANKYOU must me changed to GREEN_THANKYOU :)

    Secondly...Rachi creations, held her heart much close caring and relised the butterfly she held tight in the jar...so feel-free and enjoys this spectrum of color

    Howz that huh!
    Glad your read it and felt there was somthing more to hold than just a next love story..
    :)
    Visit often:))

    ~ Keep the Spark ALive..

    ReplyDelete
  25. @ Chetan
    Firstly Welcome to Humming Today!

    :)) SO so happy to know to your found this story different yet felt the same emotions tried to display!


    Do visit more often, I shall try not to dissapoint you :) And your commnet sure mean a lot to me :)

    ~ Keep the Spark ALive..

    ReplyDelete
  26. @ Sidra

    Welcome to Humming Today and to the Blogger World :)
    You are so true..any form of comment encourages us so much...I feel the same to see your words here :)

    Thankyou for visiting the page and all your best wishes :))


    ~ Keep the Spark ALive..

    ReplyDelete
  27. @ Nethra

    I dont know really what to say...I feel good that you liked it...yet feel sad that it made you shed a tear..!

    Thanks for visiting the post and appriciating it as well!!

    Do visit more often :)

    ~ Keep the Spark ALive..

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  28. Saying goodbye to your dear ones is the hardest thing to do!! Great post and a cute drawing too! Good job.

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  29. sweet drawing see s as a cute and sweet girl saying" its my heart which is flying away like a butterfly and i cant stop".

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  30. deep thoughts which silently says love.. definitely a different plot Rachana.. I just loved reading it..

    All The Best for BAT 13.

    Gmsaravana - Goodbye

    If you wish to save a heart, then do stop by Save a Heart! Initiative. Do vote if you wish..

    Yours Frendly,
    Saravana Kumar M

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  31. This one is really heartbreaking and very beautifully written.

    I can only add - hearts are often broken by words left unspoken... The toughest goodbyes are said to the things that we thought could be real :)

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  32. Moving tale of friendship and love lost. I once experienced something like that like many people around.

    ATB for BAT-13

    Vikas Khair - Goodbye

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  33. Tht was an interesting monologue Rachana.. The emotions u'v portrayd here are felt by many in their lives.. u'v drawn a picture of a balanced charater and the end justifies her.. ATB :)

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  34. Very deep and emotional. That he hadn't come at all was an unexpected twist. Goodbye to goodbye was awesome.

    All the best!

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  35. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls it butterfly..!

    nice story.

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