03 November, 2012

Wrinkles tale

my little baby-steps to cope up..

Just like any other person I have my piles of troubles.
Even I worry a lot, at times for little things more than anything.
Honestly most of times it’s the little things that gives me challenges to lead a proper life. After all just breathing or merry-go round is not the only thing to focus about. We need to have a nice healthy lifestyle too. Difficult to ignore and yes stress almost these days over takes everyone’s life in a very creepy manner.

...every wrinkle or line have series of stories behindto be shared...
Problem is actually not a problem; important thing in life is how we manage such moments in life when we feel like we are losing on everything. Hopelessly helpless yet keeping the positive attitude is something we must tame our minds to learn. And almost every time we forget that Love and laughter are the two things we must focus on to celebrate our living and Keep the spark ALive..
Changes in the circumstances and human body shall always take place. Rather than working on avoiding wrinkles only to look good physically we must be encouraged to learn accepting the changes. Aging gracefully, being healthy and fit matters the most.

True beauty is not just the radiance airbrushed on the face but also the recognition and respect we receive from the people around us for the significance of wonderful work investing time and patience in the development of our family’s well being and work-place, we do. And where wrinkles are the expressions frozen in time and are the way to signpost of the journey of remarkable life.

To me wrinkles document the emotions we have experienced.
In our youth, if ‘we frown’ more, we tend develop lines around the forehead. With every laughter and smile, happy face like an enlightening worthy soul, we develop lines at the sides of lips and the corners of eyes as we grow old.

Here, interestingly the lines define how we lead our life, wrinkles weave the tales of the way the time was spent.

However, I will aim to measure my success of life, my value as a person, as a friend, a lover and most merely as a human being not just by watching the wrinkles on my face but also by counting the number of laugh lines found on ‘Your face’.

This is also a way to share a wish that we shall be together forever, growing much stronger. Just as I wish, we together shall embrace warmth in wrinkles and celebrate long and prosperous years of life spent with someone you truly love.

Note : The above picture includes My mother, with her enchanting smile in warmth and grace in her eyes.
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda
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30 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 10

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

II could make a sense that she had those some mixed emotions.
She had no idea, whether she should cry, or shout in madness, be angry or feel glad that finally we met. She could not figure out was she acting smart or utterly stupid, was it all good or only bad. I believe same was my situation, but I was thinking everything keeping her in my mind. I had promised myself that this time I will not do anything that hurts her in any way. Everything will be just like as she wants, as she wishes to be, as she likes it to be. And only reason was that I wanted her in her happiest expression always. She meant so much to me which suddenly I could compose thoughts with her gestures and grace.

Soon she slowly moved her free hands around my neck and it did feel like missing all these years something I definitely owe. I pulled her much closer to me, very gently not to scare her by any means. I was aware of her delicate cold body and trembling lips.

I slowly leaned giving her every chance to pull away but she didn’t.

As I place my lips on her, she almost melted down in my arms. She was all my now. She looked at me between her eye-lashes and soon I kissed her ones more.

This time it was much more passionate kiss and I certainly knew that I will not freak out now on her anymore, neither for yesterday night nor for anything that happened some long years ago. Then it happened and her lips touched mine. I was so lost.

Just then she softly whispered, “I can’t...”

Before she could complete her sentence, I felt tense. I thought I lost her again. She could make a change in my facial expressions almost clueless about everything.

Just as she continued saying, “I can’t go, I won’t, and I will always be here for you like always like forever for infinity!”

I looked into her deep eyes and couldn’t stop myself saying my heart out,
“My skin, My hair will grow old but my heart holds everything forever trust me, my moods..My attitude..My thoughts will change, But I am here and will be here always life moves and goes on, but I am here, always here, things will be hard, Challenging, but still I live to fight every day I am super human!
I haven’t learn how to give up on you, I never give up
..I am human and I don’t think back I look ahead always, I am here”

She smiled looking at me acknowledge my words.
I felt nice after everything happened between us.

The time stopped, the world stood still, it was only me and her alone, no one else around.

There was no more nervousness, no stress at all. Sometimes silence is the best, especially in love. The more you use words, speak to express, the more confusing it gets. Something I understood, no explanation would justify the time we lost, living far away missing some truly memorable moments. Yet it was worth to acknowledge the experience instead.

I was no more regretting to kiss a little nineteen years old girl.
She was now even more beautiful than what I remembered.

But yes she was the same little girl who had learnt a lesson from her first heart break in the long run. I was going to kiss her again; I lowered my head and kissed her on her forehead.

I soon figured out that the unsaid words shall haunt me more than ones I said. So, I wanted to pour in today. Pulling back out the lost breaths, revealing the essence the scent of my little princess, I dropped my knees, holding her tiny soft hands into mine.

She was a bit awestruck but I was determined of my decisions of making her mine without any further doubts.

“You have craved my heart for so long. I would be lying if I said not at times I did not long for you.
So many years without realising the mistakes made. I had gone crazy, chasing after you and I thought I would never find you again. Now that I understand everything, I don’t want to waste even a minute without you. I want to see your bright eyes when you wake up to the new morning. I wish to feel the slow and steady rhythm of your breathing, rocking me into calm sleep. For all the nights when I wanted to be with you, by your side, for all those moments when I wanted to hold your hands, for all those tough days I wanted your hug badly, my little baby!! Will you put me out my own misery; accept me as a part of your life, where we can create our own colourful world and do the honours of being my wife. Just be with me for the rest of our life to share love and growing stronger in love, in each other’s arms...”

I held my breath, waiting for her answer looking into her eyes in search of ‘Yes’ to get converted in words. She stood there still, not a word spoken, I was scared of something unexpected.

She bent down still not a word spoken in reply but wrapped me around her arms placing her lips on mine!

“Is that Yes?!” I asked being still unsure and puzzled.

“Yes Yes Yesss!!!” She screamed with joy, a soft giggle turning into laughter could only soothe my weary soul and wipe all the tears. She was happy, holding me tight and hugged me just like she always owes me.

I am what I have become, no special ingredient trust me, in just most honest and simple way I can say what I have all said is that I am all your! I exclaimed in pleasure. Light have its silver way to come when it has to through the dark clouds, fixing everything and fall upon.
For me fall has finally fallen to enlighten my life just as I finally found her!

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29 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 9

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

II couldn’t say her much then.
Except holding her firm, consoling her,
“It’s ok, it will be all ok... Calm down!” I told her.

As I said this to her, she pressed her face into my chest, her hair covering her from the sides.
I gently took her hair back, tears were rolling and it seemed like there was no way she would stop crying then.

She tilted her head and refused to meet my eyes.
She was extremely disturbed by such incidence. I know the kind of girl she is. She would never do anything that embarrasses her or her family. For me she was someone who deserved the utmost respect and admiration always. I could feel her pain. More than tears, I saw her hurt where her dignity was on stack.

After a while when she realised she was in my arms, she tried loosening up and slowly tried stepping back getting conscious. My skin was already reacting busting into goose bumps. She was shivering a bit as well. We found everything so puzzled for a while.

Somehow mutually it was decided to stay like that longer into each other’s arms almost like forever.
I didn’t want to let her go. For a while we forgot everything. She still had those last few drops of tears slipping on her cheeks. I took my hand with traced fingers cleaned her tears. Soon a phone started ringing which was kept on the coffee table. I decided to ignore it.

“Your phone is ringing!” she said whispering softly, where I could feel her breath on my neck, sending me tingling feeling.
“Ignore it” I said making no attempt of going out of her hold, her touch, her warmth.
“What if it is something urgent?” she said loosening her grip on me.
“Nothing is important than you right now!” I said much stubbornly but it had warmth in it.
“What if the call is from your office?” She again said eyeing on me carefully.

This time I couldn’t ignore her.
I could ignore everything but not what she said. “Ok I will check!” I said a bit irritated.
I wondered what the hell the timing was of the call. As I checked the number, I seemed it was from the Sales of Insurance. They keep calling to share some economical plan yet spoiling the life plan, I wondered. As I hung up the call, he falls back on the couch sitting and staring at the phone. She steps further. I saw her eyes and realized she was about to say something.

Almost unable to take her eyes off me, “May be I should go now!” she said something very unwillingly.

I stood up and observed her body became tensed. A lump in my throat raised yet surrounded by the silence and my tear threaten me to fall, when without thinking much I whispered to her, “Don’t leave me!”

I was looking at her with my intense eyes that she could not do anything but only to shake her head into agreement. I tried my luck again. I moved and took a step forward towards her; she took one step back nervously. Crossing the distance, filling up the cracks of connectivity and gaps in between, I came closer to her. And before she could give a second thought to anything, I took my hands and cupped her face with warmth.

She could not blink, still with her eyes kept looking at me speechless.
I leaned forward thinking to kiss her, she said, “Why you left me?”

I knew I had no answer to it.
I knew it wasn’t one side problem.
I knew I was equally involved in whatever happened in past.
Yet when she said with those tiny dews in her eyes, my heart melted.

How I could not ever understand that she was not as prompt in expressing her true presence? How deep into my heart I knew what exactly she wanted in life but I ignored it for some silly presumptions! She was right there in my arms staring at me with no questions.

Was truly the answer 'yes' in her eyes... I searched!

...Continue to READ Part-10 The Last Part Thank you friends for your patience and time!
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28 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 8

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

SShe was trying to cover up her hangover and was constantly looking around so that I don’t notice her red eyes and pale face. Yet she was miserably failing in that task. Judging her expressions, think that she liked breakfast what I made for her.

“How are you feeling now?” I asked her taking out an apple from the fridge to eat. As I took my first bite to the apple, “Did you wash it?” she asked curiously with her one eyebrow raised.

I gave her a smile, thinking finally she spoke something to me directly, “I haven’t, and I will wash it now!”

“Sorry, I...ummm..” she murmured wondering how to cope up with this awkward situation. She is very particular about certain things, especially about food.

I knew it, “its ok! Relax, I will wash now, Sorry, I forgot to.. You know how bachelors lead life..”
She smiled back hearing me.

“The food is good, thank you” she gets up to clean the plate.
I got up, cleaned the table. I wanted to say something to her but then.. I just ignored it for a while!

Ones I was done, we stood there facing each other with millions of unsaid thoughts and infinite questions. We just kept staring the faces...for a while.
“I’m sorry! I didn't know whom to call” she said after a long pause & with lots of hesitation.

“It’s ok, I’m glad that you called me, but what exactly you were trying to do there like this...” My voice was only turning more serious and cold at the last bit of the sentence.

“I don’t know what happened. I was with my friends, was thirsty ...they gave me some drink and next I remember calling you on phone. ” She said to the point a bit ashamed, unhappy and worried.

“Where were your friends then?” I sounded harsh with growing anger.
“I don’t know where they went then. I couldn't locate them after I felt bit dizzy and tipsy.” She tried explaining aimlessly confused, helplessly, tensed, turning her back around me, hiding her face.

“I was sitting at the table when my friend arrived with a tray of shots. She placed three of them in front of me and told me to down one after the other. In the back of the mind I knew it wasn't a good idea but I drank them anyways trying to forget the last trace of worry that was left in me and it worked, for a while. I danced hard on the dance floor by myself having forgotten where I was and about the outside world when I started feeling sick. I rushed to the wash-room, bumping into people and wall a few times. Stomach ache, nausea feeling was awful. My head was spinning and the world around me looked blurry and strangely out of tune.

As I came back to the dance floor, I couldn't find my friends. I was so scared and worried about everything. I did not know anything what to do next. I searched in my clutch my mobile and before I could find it, found your visiting card. I scrolled down to the home phone number in the mobile to call but all of a sudden changed the mind at the last moment. Somehow I felt like calling you would be the right thing to do.”
“I’m so sorry I bothered you so late...” she finally took a long breath completing to tell her sob-story.

“Listen” I said to her. This was a better tone.
If she could differentiate then it was more of care and concern. I turned her to see her face, looking into her eyes where she could not hold tears and broke down into my arms, crying.

...Continue to READ Part-9
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27 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 7

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

NNext all I remember is getting up early morning discovering myself in the position and side I slept into. I stare at ceilings and wonder, through the slow blinks with confused silence.

I couldn't sleep properly yesterday. I went to the bathroom, gave nice cold water splash on my face, looked into eyes in the hazy mirror and stayed still for a while. I was feeling numb, tired and exhausting. I stood under the warm shower sensing a burden on my stiff shoulder soothing away with bubble and rubble which was pouring down my spine. As the water droplets evaporated from my fragile skin, all I could sense the blood rushing into my veins only to relax me further. Later, I went up to the kitchen made nice green tea for me.

As I was sipping my tea, I suddenly recalled she was in the next room. I remembered how yesterday I was not all alone, lonely or afraid to come back home. I was accompanied by her all along the zigzag way, walking up the creaking stairs and kicking down the door, shaking up the walls and filling up with so much of tenderness.

I was caught up in the middle of all this eccentric madness and where I was in a perfect joy to accept that she was next door sleeping in my home and of course the whole feeling was tremendous with the fading feeling of fear attached with heartbreak.

Walking down into the room, I made sure that I don’t make much noise. I peeked inside and caught my breath to see she was no wonder still into her deep sleep all curled and tangled up in the blanket. I went back into the kitchen and made one coffee for her. Slowly took the cup of coffee with some chocolate cookies, I calmly called her name to get up. She groaned with remorse as she laid her face against the pillow. She was not willing to get up. I had no idea what I should have done next. With a little pause, I again called her name. Rubbing her little eyes to open up, she looked at me from the side. I could sense in a way she was bit surprised to see me. She looked around to recognise where she was and yes within few minutes she was back to her normal. She looked hesitant, reluctant and puzzled to start any conversation.

“Good Morning sleeping beauty! Did you have good sleep?” I asked her.

“Umm..Good Morning!” she replied in a husky voice.

I handed her the cup of coffee, ‘You will like the coffee, its strong, bitter and less sweet, like your type.”

As I said that, she looked at me in a surprise. Soon I added, “And moreover it will have you to sooth your headache too”.

She got up and sat comforting her back to the pillow with slight shots of dizziness hitting her badly. She looked uncomfortable for a while but continued to sip the coffee I made for her. Until she finished her coffee she did not say anything. She asked me way for the bathroom.

I guided her, “Straight, first left”.

She got up and ones more a dizziness hits her, unsettled holds the door for support and I went rushing to help her. I took her to the bathroom. She washed her face, combed her hair, and came out well in form trying to look decent.
Mean while I made couple of toast and buttered it well, with a hot chocolate. Suddenly I turned around and saw she was already standing behind me. I thought she might rush going out. But no she actually surprised me again by settling down the chair.

I reflected that I was still so alone then, but it is so better to be all alone with her around. We looked into each other’s eyes and again there was a rush of blood in my veins, heartbeat racing like it wanted to say something but we together exhaled softly into a sigh. The way we made love last night across the corners of the room and later mingling into the garden was it only the drink that made us persistent, I wondered. Soon we exchanged the smile, quite weird one while I passed her the toast and hot chocolate glass.

“You should eat something” I said.

...Continue to READ Part-8
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26 October, 2012

Finally Found you - Part 6

Please read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 and Part 5 here

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

II reached the place, parked my car hurriedly on the road.
My mind was distressed thinking about her yet it wasn't difficult to find her out.
She was in the garden, closed eyes sitting on the swing, holding the rope.

I went up to her, we looked into each other’s eyes without a blink and soon she came with me without even sharing a word. She was feeling sick, was in quite an unconscious state, she hold my hand tightly only to get a support. I moved my hand around her shoulders and carrying her to the car. As I opened the door of the car, she settled inside leaning back with her head on the window.

To me she still looked so cute.
She could not focus much, her head was spinning, as soon as she lay her head behind she closed her eyes again and went into kind of deep sleep. I closed the door, moved around and sat in the car. After I had put my safety-belt, I thought of putting her safety-belt too. While I went closer to her to put seat belt, there were again little goose-bumps on my skin. All the way she was murmuring something, I could not understand anything but felt like she was calling my name and trying to tell me something important. For while I kept wondering, all this time I thought about her but never thought we would be meeting like this and she being in such a state. For some reason I felt bit guilty for her conditions. I felt like I should have been there with her throughout the party.

I drove the car slow trying not to disturb her.
On the way at time I used to look at her from my slight left glance. She looked so serene. Soon she rustled woke up, tried to open the window. The air blew on her face bringing half of her hair on her face. She was resting her hand on the window with the closed eyes. I had no idea what was going into her head or what she will do next. I was quite apprehensive of the whole situation. No wonder she has been always that stubborn and moody.

As I reached home below the apartment, I parked my car. Helped her again to getting out of the car and took her to my apartment. When I was opening my apartment door, she struggled to keep the balance and was almost falling on to me. I wondered if she was in her conscious state she would have definitely shouted in her stubborn yet sweet tone at me all the way, yet here she was numb, silent, calm, and controlled... nothing like she actually is in real.

I literary scooped her into my arms and took her to the room and made her lie on the bed. I added two pillows below her head so that she feels more comfortable and covered her with a light blanket to keep her warm. Just as she found warmth inside, she further curled up into the blanket. This was one of the most delighting moments of my life, when I was with her so close observing her every move and gesture that too without her notice.

I closed the lights and slowly came out of the room. I was too tired for it was mid night and my head was spinning speculating the whole situation.

I went back to my room and tried sleeping.
For a while nearly half asleep, I was just lazily lying down the bed, looking out the window pane covered with slight mist. I was worried about her; I got up to go and check on her but then ignored it for I knew she was not in a state to move even a inch in next ten hours.

I forcefully tried sleeping again. As I closed my eyes, all I was getting the glimpse of the whole day and everything related to her. Life is so unexpected, but maybe it was all for good, I speculated.

With all the scattered piece of fragments of feelings, frost out and yet fallen in love with the warmth. I really cannot recollect when actually I slept dwelling about the past.

...Continue to READ Part-7
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25 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 5

Please read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 and Part 4 here

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

IIt felt like I drove all night.
It was a long dark foggy night which felt like it had no end to it.
As I reached my apartment building, at the parking lot, I kept waiting for a while to get down from the car. I was so numb about the whole situation. I sat and watched my chunks of thoughts fleet, all the while I wondered what it could all mean or everything I thought was nothing at all. How could I find her and lose her same time like a little history repeats in itself, I marveled!

After reaching home, I opened the door, it felt bit drained.

But I loved that feeling of instant, when she stared at me from across the crowd. It was her aura and I was sinking, soaking and swimming into it. I was not drowning into it, I only filling up my lungs with little breath left around with strange salt water. It was not possible for me to come out of that feeling. Feeling that was so much familiar and full of affection.

But my head was spinning, trying hard to sort out things and every time I consider more it felt like there was no way out of this whirlpool of weird thoughts. As I collapsed exhausted on the bed in the same clothes, without caring to untie the shoes too, unexpectedly there was a flashback of her only birthday together celebrated. I took her to her favourite restaurant, had great food, her favourite ice-cream and gave her lovely bracelet as a birthday present. She looked simple and sweet as ever. Our feeling became less like friends and more like love. We even danced and I tried doing all my modest bits only to make her day perfect, beautiful and memorable. While dancing, gazing into her eyes, I had embraced her like never before. And for the first time I kissed her on the forehead and slowly placed a small soft kiss on her sweet lips.

But she knew the unrevealed truth, when she knew it was love, it fed her with fear, she avoided confronting it. She was a child then, I don’t blame her actually, and it was her 19th birthday. Did she doubt on my love; I doubt that, because as far as I knew her, she understood me more than anyone has ever made efforts to know me. Honestly, somewhere her implicit feelings for me were never hidden from me.
All the things she did to me over the past, blended with curiosity. And today nothing matters much. I forgive you dear. And perhaps I truly wonder if she had still giving me, one more chance I have been longing.

‘Please don’t run away now, my mate!’ I pleaded wordlessly in my heart.
Almost chocked with tears, I thought, sometimes it’s better to stay in dark and not seek what shouldn’t be found.

It was such an exhausting day; I fell asleep immediately and was thankful for a dreamless sleep. But the fact was even when the nightmares came, the memory of that first soft kiss seemed to chase them all away giving me sudden goose bumps. Suddenly the mobile rang with the vibration on.

The mobile was still in my pocket. I got up with uneasiness. Took out the mobile from my trouser pocket and saw the unknown number. It was still a senseless mid-night. Almost before the last ring I picked up the call.

‘Hello!’ I said in the clearing my throat.

‘Yes, who is it?’ I asked suspiciously.

‘Umm...!’ I suddenly exclaimed recounting her sweet voice.

‘Yes’ she replied almost breaking down.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked with all my concerns.

‘I .... I was wondering if you can come and pick up me from here...’ She said in a very broken embarrassed voice.

‘Where are you right now?’ I asked her, while searching the keys of my car in the room.

‘I’m outside the party hall, in the garden’ she said.

‘I’ll be there as soon as I can, you don’t move from there and please don’t cry..’ I said as I hung up the call, worried for her.

My heart was aching; I was so tensed for her.
While driving to her, numerous weird thoughts came into my mind. I abruptly tried making a call again to her, but her number was unknown, so couldn't dial back to her. It wasn’t easy for me to focus. My mind was swinging frantically from one bad thought to other. You know how world is, how the night was, and for God sake she is a little tender baby for me still.

The dust had settled, the tide of time had stopped washing the shore, all I was left with remains of her, I cannot afford to lose this footprint of time this moment. I was driving really fast, clearing the mist covering on the road with a silent longing and an anxiety to reach to her as early as possible.
As I was getting closer to her, I prayed, I just wished, I only hoped everything was fine with her.

...Continue to READ Part-6 
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24 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 4

Please read Part 1 , Part 2  and Part 3here

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

S‘So what were you doing by yourself at the bar’ I asked her, a bit concern.
‘My friends disappeared so I decided to sit alone and enjoy the music; I’m not that good at socialising.’
That made me chuckle a bit. ‘I know!’ I confidently said with a curve on my lips.

She slightly felt shy hearing me.
‘So tell me how been your life?’ she asked again only to fill the silence. For the moment I didn't realised she was talking to me, I was only noticing how her sweet pink lips moved.

As we talked further, I grabbed her hands in mine.

She still felt the same, warm, sweet, soft, like always mine.
Yet I also noticed how she was actually shivering looking at me holding her little hands. For those lovely moments I forgot if ever anything bad happened in our past. Sure it was past, long time and situation changes, but she feels still same to me, I realised.
Playing with her tender hands, we talked. Somehow even she did not hesitate, which gave me comfort to be with her. Time was passing slowly, it was getting cold, the silence was grooving, and we were getting together.
As she whispered my name, I could not hold myself back and then I caressed her cheeks, removing the hair strands from her side of her face. Then my arms wrapped around her waist and her arms around my shoulder, bringing me closer to her. We embraced tightly.
As I lifted her face again to see her glow, I saw her sad eyes.
She looked at me keenly, like her eyes said to me, ‘Never leave me, and be with me always!’

Suddenly she broke down in tears.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked her consoling her.

I asked her, I gave her huge hug again. She answered calling my name through her sobs. I pulled her swiftly into another hug. I lifted my hands and again cupped her face in it as I leaned forward; it was as if everything was happening in a slow motion yet too fast for her to stop it.
Her face was so close to mine that, I could taste her warm breath.

Just as her lips touched mine, I declared silently, ‘You are mine!’

And before she would realise much of my feeling for her, she withdrew herself from my embrace, looked into my eyes with a shock and ran away back into the party hall. I was left there all alone, upset, confused and hopelessly lifeless. I was so clueless about this whole circumstance. I stared at the door of the party hall for her. After standing there for few minutes, trying to figure out everything, I decided to leave the party. As I reached the parking lot, I felt disappointed to have come to this party. I gave the kick and a good noisy punch bang on my dear car and left for home.
How I could have done this, felt apologetic!

How madly I wished if my kiss was without the question mark?

The lingering attachment we still shared would have been exclamation marks then. The passion provided the clarity to my thoughts then and I understood what matters to me the most. But the kiss just happened in a jiffy which cannot be denied. I knew nothing, what was going through her mind. She never spoke her heart to me ever, neither today nor yesterday. I drifted away helplessly through the foggy doomed night. It seemed that I would never rise again with zest of zeal through the salty sea of sentiments I stumble into.

...Continue to READ Part-5
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23 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 3

Please read Part 1 and Part 2 here

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!

SSo before the night would pass, the party would get over and we would ones again be lost in our own busy world. I took my strong steps to see her and share a word with her. It was like a frozen moment with a fleeting glance, a stolen second and a dazed secret sigh waiting for the butterflies and those damn goose-bumps that were setting us apart. In all hesitation and curiosity, I enthused towards her, without losing my eye contact. Observing me approaching towards her, she looked tensed and conscious.

Same time, I felt a heat like my cheeks was blushing badly.
What the hell was up to that now!

Somehow I could never hide my emotions bottled up for her. I could see that she was on edge, that for a while she looked here and there, and then indecisively changed the place from where she was standing earlier. She went to the bar and took one more drink. I took long breaths and out of the blue with my cold hands softly tapped her shoulder and she turned around. Her long locks’ brushing my face and that sweet scented aura around her was so charismatic.

“Uh,Hi?" I said quite determined tone.

‘Hi!’ she said, obviously confused.

‘umm...How about we go outside to actually talk and we can hear each other.’ I instinctively suggested shamelessly.

‘Hmm!’ to my surprise she hummed in quick agreement, like a feeling of being drawn towards me.

I extended my hand and she took it gently and let her outside.
Where emptiness is the essence enough to light the fire to warm us, lending hand to the silhouette sense, the silence, the gap, the pause, the sinking stillness, the absence was filling every bits and bytes of everything. How so much could settle and yet spread in such a little space inside my soul for so many years, I wondered!
Reaching out in fresh chill air of November, with her was much like a dream. Bit of fog around, not a clear sky to count stars, yet a beautiful blessed night. Who knew few hours ago that I shall meet her and now she is holding my hand. Yet again in a split of second another thought lingered, "was everything I feared about has passed or there was still bits of unexpected to happen?" We sat on the garden chair, quite on the edge of the garden, so that no one could possibly find us.

It’s like kind of sketchy dream on the paper with the think dark charcoal pencil to be shaded in humble colours soon.

It was still such an awe moment that it was unbelievable to see she would come with me in the dark spot with ease, be next to me and talk. I know when one thinks about it nothing seems creepier than this but trust me I wasn’t going to do anything. It was a serene, surprising and a sacred moment of my life.

‘So how are you?’ she finally spoke almost like a soft whisper after few minutes of awkward silence.

And those first few words leaping from her lungs, slowly crawling into my ears like melting melody, it was ‘Good!’ really good!

‘Good!’I said staring into her deep eyes.

‘Where are you working?’ she asked next. ‘I work in Multi-National Company, showing her my visiting card’, I told.

She with a smile saw my card, tried reading it but since it was dark, she gave back the card.

‘Keep it’ I said looking the spark into her eyes.
I knew she would show to give me back yet would want me to ask her to keep it. I wondered for a while, why she always wants me to read and understand the underlines! May be she doesn’t expect but I know her too well, I guess.

...Continue to READ Part-4 
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22 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 2

Please read Part 1 here

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!
AAs the party grooved, in the dim light I spotted these two beautiful eyes.
While I was still indulged into long-fellow talks, my heart beat raised suddenly, thinking about those two eyes following me. Just a slight glance of someone could be so powerful that it could give such a shiver in my body. The girl kept looking at me as I glanced occasionally at her while I was chatting with my friends. These eyes belonged to a very cute girl. She was someone, the only one I ever felt so much during college. As I saw her again today, I was just in awe and wondered how after so many years she still looks so sweet and captivating. I repeated looking at her, while still conversing with my friends. I noticed her looking at me and a slight curve on lips played itself onto the aura.

Just as I saw those deep dimples, I had to go ahead. While I was still thinking how to make a move, she suddenly vanished from my eyes.

What an irony, I lost her in the crowd of old chaps!
Then I wondered will she be remembering me, isn't it too late to have same feeling like old times?

To add more fact to the whole story, I and she was never a couple in our college, yet the most popular one to be talked about. I as such never liked any kind of such attention but can’t help about the people. I was only trying to be friendly with her, though cannot ignore the fact that I definitely had a soft corner for her as always.
It’s like when the love is actually the prayer
and care is nothing much but the blessing of presence.
I wanted to be with her always for I always enjoyed her company. Even then there was something between us which kept intact despite of people’s odd talk about us around. I had accepted the things around us. The bond for me was under no pressure to get upset or disturbed about any talk. But I knew she used to get concerned hearing talks and was not ready to face any further consequences. The stories went on and on until at last they needed nothing to start to believe, fortunately for me they turned into truth too in due course of time. I still remember the last time I saw her was in a farewell party. Never thought life would change so much, undecided of so many circumstances. I turned around and out of the corner of my eyes; I felt a pair of beautiful eyes on me yet again.

Soon while having almost the last sip of my drink, I noticed her in the corner of the room with the bunch of buddies. It was an awkward moment for us. All these years, I might have not been in touch with anyone, might have forgotten everything about college life, but there is one and only thing which I could never forget are those innocent brown eyes and dimpled smile. Something which I have always ignored to talk about freely, when by chance asked about I blush, smile and skip the question in a nice way. Yet I know in my heart I so want to talk about it, alas want to share my story with nobody but only with her.

Even today, when I saw her,
I had this same understanding of the depth in the feeling.
Now before the party could be over, I was supposed to go and meet her. But how I wondered, how could I just like that go and talk to her and will everything be right, I speculated. Moreover, somehow I was so sure that all my close friends knew that I was paying my attention was only every move of her. As I saw her again, I perceived her eyes sparkled. It was this spark between us which had such a lovely positive feeling to have and then nothing much bothered. I was not in a position to create issues. Yet I was in my full mood to recreate the feelings.

By now, I knew she was grasping my glimpse too I was trying to win her heart and my focus was only on her heart not on anything else happening around. For a while I just stopped thinking everything. Suddenly, I had this mission of the party in my mind to meet her ultimately.

...Continue to READ Part-3...
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21 October, 2012

Finally Found You - Part 1

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!
LLife takes up a whole one large circle and I’m back to my past, my memories, my moments, and my entire so called first times framed flashes. Life have been like soaring at the shining stars in the dark night, floating into the clouds, sailing into the deep blue ocean creating small endless round, around the situations with clueless circumstances. And surprise-surprise one day I received an invitation to attend a get-together party of the college mates.

Now this is really funny, for years after been passed out we have not met or much talked, yet we plan to have a get-together. Being a bit of hopeful by nature I thought it was a good chance for a change and revive old bonding. When I wondered about the old good times, thought of people I spend my couple of years together, I was getting excited thinking that we all have grown up, turned matured, work hard and now, it was definitely time to party hard together. After all we were there and have lived some very enduring experiences. Although in the rush of life, we tend to forget or in the modern term ‘we move on’, yet in our heart we all know the best time spent in life, is in the college and despite of all the silly situations or some major differences, we still care and are concern about each other in certain way.

The party is tomorrow! And today’s night is truly long.
Though not with everyone but with few of my close buddies I was in touch, so I assume tomorrow shall be a nice day. Taking a long breath and making sure I need not think much yet should have a good sleep. Yes! There is something I don’t want to further discuss, it’s been a long time, believes, ideas and things in broad-spectrum have changed or must have changed a lot in due course of time.
I was not the same anymore.
I live in the small terraced house, life is good from top. I have been staying alone ever since I started doing job. My home has minimal furniture yet enough to make life as comfortable as possible. I have no hesitation to say that at times I like being a couch-potato watching television yet there are times I don’t mind having few sociable drinks or seek other entertainment. Most of time eat outside; sometimes cook, though a good cook but cooking for thyself alone is quite boring. I work really hard and spend hours in office. Since living away from your family/friends, I watch television a lot during weekends. Being busy yet not doing anything in particulars during the weekends is what have been my lifestyle past few years. Or may be in much productive manner I would say that I have found my fulfillment in my work. By the way I have not been to my hometown past two years. Yes, at times I do feel home-sick but staying alone and being a self-decision maker is better than anything. Also to have heard so much, so many times, things like to get married soon, to settle down are a bit tiring to me. I think when things have to happen it will and there is nothing to hurry about.
So finally, after getting a bit drowsy, I take a nap.

In the morning, having my green tea and feeling a bit curious about this whole situation over a weekend. My friend calls me and reminds me to come in the party. I wonder with the cup in my hand, ‘do I really have to go or need to go?’ I don’t think so. But what’s the big deal, I should only to have good time with people, actually they are still my friends, I guess!

I reached almost right time in the party, which is itself rocking in full-swing.
It was so good to feel that some came from really far away and I truly appreciate the fact that they tired despite of such a busy life. People were smiling, some faces looked familiar and some faces were truly happy to see me. I’m really not a very party type of person. I knew we were here together after a long time for a while and so I didn't mind having few drinks. I took some drink and started hugging, some of my close friends to have met after real long time.

Laughing, making fun, pulling legs, giggling, everything was so good around.
I felt so glad to have come since the vibe of the party was great. Suddenly, I realized life was so lifeless without them. After all friends are friends, who knows you for ages and knew you well ever since you were young. We had so many past stories to share and talk about. This fact even took me for a surprise for a while that I had so much to say, share, cherish and celebrate collectively. Never thought life was so beautiful with friends.
Music of the party was good which kept the aura serene.

...Continue to READ Part-2 ...
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12 September, 2012

Shopping at Snapdeal

Miracles for Me

Shopping is something I absolutely love just like any other girl.
However, shopping is sometimes so tiring. Going from one shop to other even if it mean being in a big mall. The exciting experience is always exhausting. Finally slowly, shopping online in India is blooming, Snapdeal.com is one of the best given example for shopping online. Best part is that recently the ‘cash on delivery’ has been introduced. For the people like me who are not just cautions about online stuff as anything can bring virus in the computer, bringing your whole system down. Moreover there are so many hoax activities too, which are so scary, preventing you too take any new chances.

JJust as the topic goes, best online shopping experience of mine have been very recently, interestingly on Snapdeal online shopping site. I actually got the link of the site through the facebook advertisements. As, I scrolled, went up and down to almost all the best products, brands and style I loved the huge variety and options to buy it. It was such a sweet moment when I felt that now shopping could not just be efficient in budget but also tension free. There were also a whole list of things which I always in a way desired to owe them someday.

As I was going through the site, I went onto the home section to see the bed-sheets.
The Snapdeal site is very user-friendly, it helps in segregating the products according to the needs and requirements. So, I went further into the particular brand to get to see the products in particular filtered according to the price structure. It was the brand Bombay Dyeing.

The most surprising part was that I could see the best designs.
Looking at all the shades and patterns of the bed-sheets, one of the bed-sheet reminded me in particular one of them I so badly longed to buy it past few months. I actually bought couple of bed-sheets few months back as a gift from India for my very dear friend who stays abroad. The bed-sheets are of the Bombay-Dyeing from 'Celebrating India collection', which had bright colours and ethnic print. However, when I came back India after my long trip, I went back to the show-room to get same kind of prints for my home, since they looked so beautiful. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it, according to the sales-person all the bed-sheets of the particular prints were over. I was so dishearten, since I loved the design and shades of the colours. But while going through the Snapdeal shopping online site, I saw the same brand 100%cotton with silk finish fabric of bed-sheet and interestingly with the best-price like with 10-20% discount. I was so super excited to get it. I instantly ordered two bed-sheets with cash-on-delivery. Less then a week I got them at home, well packed and absolutely in perfectly good condition. Nothing was more delighting to see that without going around and spending hours I could actually find my desired product while shopping yet being at home with much less price of the original that too in a best-condition.

Snap-deal is indeed a wonderful site.
It is absolutely secured site for shopping.
I trust it, for my best ever first online shopping experience.
Best I loved the cash-on-delivery option. Shipping is free and with home-delivery option.
The product is well packed in sealed with the brand tag on, to verify the details further, which I absolutely appreciate. The delivery person calls on phone before they come to your home, which gives you flexibility. They also give you a tracking number to see, how your product is moving on the way.
The Snapdeal.com Site was absolutely easy and fast in downloading the page and was indeed so user's friendly. Such facilities give you comfort and satisfaction to enjoy shopping online even when you are at home. I had this wonderful and most memorable first online shopping experience. By the way I cherish my colourful memory of the online shopping looking at those bright bed-sheets crowning my bed-room, igniting to feel wishful. Thanks to Snapdeal.com

This post is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with Snapdeal.com
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05 September, 2012

To Teachers with love

J Just like every day is precious and beautiful, this day is just filled with an extra zest and over-whelming emotions. Memories of past, exactly the childhood, my school days, and see how days actually flutter so quickly. When I was in school not a day passed when I didn’t dream of being older, responsible and being independent. Now that I have grown, more than I could actually call thyself young, I miss so badly every moment spent in school. How disciplined life was! I woke up everyday at right time, went school, moment reached there played ‘Statue and over’ game with friends, those long assemblies, news reading, thought for the day, while being in class looking out the greenery and my favourite the tall giant blessed mango tree, that lunch break bell, sharing Tiffin, jumping over benches, wishing teachers, gossips, giggles, hide and seek of glare and glance, glory.... alas all is gone!

Nothing but those moments in school today is the most wonderful world of stories I wish to sink in every time. How busy yet easy and well scheduled life was then. Waiting for school buses, those raincoats, pencils, magical eraser, stickers and competitions, madly waiting for Sundays was so much fun. Friends been the pillars and equal contributors in every mischief planned. Some still stand strong by my side, yet many shall always be in mind, reminding of something sweet bringing the smile all over again.
India celebrates Teacher's Day on September 5 since 1962 as it is the birth anniversary of Dr Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan, a prominent thinker, philosopher and an educator.
Today is the Teacher’s day.
But the fact is every time I make someone proud or I feel the worth, I know deep into my heart I think and thank my teachers. Each and every one of them played an important role into my life. At every junction of my school and college life, it was definitely the teachers who showed me a light and a unique way to lead zestful life. It is definitely the teachers who made efforts to make me realise the dreams and the passions of being a young aspirant. A creative flow I’m still following and taking little steps to pursue the joy in everything.
When the chapters were boring, life-path were tough,
it was the teachers' who created creative, colourful bridges to cross and acknowledge the shades of circumstances and situations to deal being strong-hearted. A teacher definitely make a lasting impression on your mind helping to shape up the ideas and ideals of life which broadens the spectrum of thoughts. Their words and deeds linger in our memory-bands for decades even after we leave school. Such is the charisma, the inspiring soul, an encouraging personality of lovely nurturing teachers.

Teachers’ conviction teaches us to believe in and be confident.

Here, this auspicious day remembering and expressing my heartfelt gratitude for all my wonderful teachers from kindergarten, schools and colleges.
Also I take an opportunity conveying my heartiest love and affection to the teachers of my life, my parents and grand-parents. And some of my very dear friends who taught me some magic-tricks and basics of life like to always 'Smile' and 'Celebrate Life'. They shall always be my sunshine teachers and I’ll try to be their best student for life!

Below sharing a sketch of Year-2000, I made it in the class-room while making some notes in the same piece of the page, while my favourite and an ideal teacher Mr. Akhilesh Kumar Goswami was teaching the subject ‘Hindi’ language.

And below is the picture where I’m with my classmates right with my wide opened arms with my kindergarten’s first ever the most inspiring teacher of my life Ms.Rita. I remember it was some special day when we students were asked to be in civil uniform and there in the classroom, I was given a chit to pick from a bowl and act accordingly. My lovely inspiring gorgeous madam was encouraging everyone to participate and I was just happy to catch the glimpse with a camera!

Indeed someone rightly said, "Teachers don't impact for a year, but for a lifetime."

Read more on Teachers and School Days :

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13 August, 2012

Birthday Wish for My friend

Happy Birthday Twinny

Dear Twinny,

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!

Not that it has been your birthday, I thought to remind and remember the best of moments. But I truly think that over the years the way we have been able to transform, my each and every moment spent together has been special. It is one of the best feeling to have someone in life whom you can relate and someone who doesn't need to be explained everything and understands exactly the way the things, thoughts and beliefs need to be felt. You have been sure the one I can count on closing my eyes.

What truly surprises me the power I get thinking to know that you are always there for me present for me. It's funny that it is you birthday and I'm talking of thyself. The reason is that I feel blessed and to me you are the best gift I posses. The distance was and shall never be an issue I guess. Hence, it was always easy and comforting to bridge up my thoughts and other long talks with you.

All those silly talks of teletubbies, beating, hitting, falling over tangled playing in the playground, fighting only to care more,loving, hugging, planning mischief, supporting and fainting in school morning assemblies, that first cappuccino we had the hub in CCD, the Chinese lunch at NYC and also when I saw you on your wedding shimmering in gold and glitters, been the moments I share and heartily treasure.

Thank you for being the best memory of my childhood, where I love to move into the trail of comfort, joy and bliss.

Here is the snap of one of my page from my autobiography, written almost a decade ago, in Year2002 and interestingly on your birthday.

My life is happier because of you.
My heart is fuller because of you.
My soul feels wholesome because of you.
I'm a better person because of you.
I'm blessed to have you in my life!

Hope we get more such wonderful memories to cheer on, cherish and celebrate. May all the pieces of your puzzle fall perfectly into place, all your desires and dreams come true, putting you to see and enjoy the joyous future with a great companionship.

Here wishing you a very Happy Birthday Twinny!

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26 July, 2012

Its My Hair

This post is written as a part of personal post yet in connection with Indiblogger and Dove for the contest of 'My beautiful hair story'.

HHair are the best and greatest assets one can possess. The hair could help greatly in boosting your physical appearance. Good hair simply enhances the way you look. It’s like no matter how beautiful one looks but if the hair are messy, it greatly affects you. Not that absolutely easy to maintain the lustre of your hair. You need to be conscious and have to follow a certain simple rules despite being so busy.

Few days back I noticed couple of white hair in my scalp. Instantly I was worried and wondered what caused such effect. Was it only my age that I was growing old and should take it as a compliment? My God! Who would like to be identified as an intellectual on the basis of number of white hair strand in head? Definitely not me the one to appreciate the famous saying ‘Yeh baal dhoop mein safed nahi kiye hain '

Seriously ... no seriously I was worried! I thought what could have been the cause to it. Being a biology student in school, I knew the basic structure of hair and how it was made and what one must do maintain good healthy skin and hair.

I was having a good food, good sleep and no stress. So what was wrong with my hair. Hmm.. Negligence, I figured out. Being on travel plans for months, frequent change of water, extreme climate changes, pollution all resulted to bad hair.

I needed to work over it. Do something. If not today then I could never save it. Since we all know ones hair turned white can never be turned black. Yet I knew that I needed to prevent the new hair which grows must not grow white.

I started with few things which my mom used to do when I was a child to take care of my hair.
I had to turn back to basics even if it means putting oil for hours. It is hard to maintain the glossiness and shine of hair. Indeed, there are so many types of hair which makes it hard for one to maintain it. Some people might have thick but dry hair; others might have thin but normal hair. And still there are those who have oily hair, thick and very curly. Now, no matter what type of hair you have, you can follow some simple secrets, few old techniques at home in order to maintain healthy hair.
  1. Oil massage every alternate days. (olive oil or coconut oil)
  2. Sometimes added lemon juice in oil and massaged it.
  3. Of course lemon is rich and raw source of Vitamin C. It also helps to cure dandruff if any.
  4. Massaging hair roots with egg raw in head. It might smell hell but adding lemon in it can prevent excess smell.
  5. Getting a trim and also chopping of the spilt ends.
  6. Not brushing hair when they are wet or damp.
  7. Never sleeping with wet hair, it weakens the hair roots.
  8. Do not keep changing your shampoo too frequently. Choose the correct shampoo and conditioner for your hair. (Simple! Stick to Dove!)
  9. Wash twice a week. Let hair gets dried naturally at room temperature and avoiding use of hair dryer.
  10. Keeping hair tied properly yet loosely while sleeping. May be simple braids shall help.
  11. Try covering the head with the umbrella, cap or scarf while being in sun.
  12. Apply warm green tea (two bags brewed in one cup of water) on your scalp and leave this mixture on for an hour and then rinse. It is believed that since green tea contains antioxidants it prevents hair loss and boost hair growth. One can use normal tea water too, but it might give some reddish shade colour to your hair.
  13. I personally love to put the henna (natural dye for hair), soaked in tea-water overnight in an iron pan/bowl, mixed with ample of lemon juice and an egg (optional) and applied in hair for few hours until the mixture gets dried and then thoroughly washed away.
  14. Sometimes I love to add the curd to my hair and leaving it for couple of hours. Absolute natural conditioner.
  15. Eating healthy like fruits and vegetables, lots of Lemon, orange juice and eat eggs every day.
I’m genetically blessed with good hair.
Hence, it wasn't that difficult to protect them before any severe damage of hair quality. The efforts could be a bit time consuming but little things help hair in a long run. And honestly, it's never to late to show a little care.

Long time back when I used to use the dove soap for my skin, I used to wonder what if this beautiful brand, dove comes up in India with some shampoo too. Had I got it earlier I would have saved a lot of money, energy and time in trying out number of hair products.

Today, I feel extremely happy to personally use the Dove products and whole shampoo combo are extremely wonderful for hair which have reduced the tension of following the routine of  grandmother's tips rule book.

Now I travel just as frequently as ever, yet I need not worry or fear for the bad hair day(s), I stick to dove to fix my hair. And absolutely that was an end of my hair problems and beginning of the lustrous, soft, healthy hair.

There lies a strength in accepting the situation and as the things are but not caring at all in any circumstance is a foolishness.
Care as they are your hair!
Share care with dove!!

Know your hair better with this easy app. of Dove

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03 June, 2012

Blank Pages


When I said, 'I need to know more', you said, 'Read me!'

So how you gonna start.
Here is a request, when you decide that you want to read this, make sure you read this whole post in a stretch and in one go. It is possible in the beginning you might not get it what exactly it is all about, yet I believe if you see yourself in this post, you will eventually start figuring out what am I referring to. The story is about You!
TThere is something bothering you like always.
Despite the fact everything is so right.
Something that comes into your mind when your are doing nothing and brings down all your zeal. Something you think for a slight while and try to soon realize that you need to focus on something much fruitful. Its often when you have everything like you always wanted to, you are in one of the most secured position, nothing like past time at all. Yet there is something badly hurts you at core. You are always restless and wonder why all this happened.

You could never find the answers to the questions and perhaps could not create better questions to answer your cloud of chaos. It's a thing you have been running away through for some reason. This is something you actually had figured out a time ago but you are not still ready to talk about it. You know it that people at-least bunch of them know about it, they still talk about it, you know when the first thought arrives, it's that thing which comes directly to people mind. You don't like such situations. You make sure you will try your best not to encounter such moments ever in life, yet you never forget and perhaps have never forgive the act. Now you think that when this thing happened, you realized long time back, you knew you had no control over the circumstances then. So you decided that you will never let these things to ever come up hindering your success. You made sure you will work hard and change the the things radically.
You were pretty sure you can do it.
The matter of fact is you did it!
But did you forget everything what happened.
The answer is no! You could never forget certain thing. You could not divert you mind from that something. It was like always a shadow, following you everywhere. However, you pretended all this while all was well. But it was dark and so deep. It was scary to watch back things. Even when you knew today that past cannot effect you anyway. Yet, you know, it did at some point of time in your small tenure of life. Things are not that easy at all to just let go. Yet you were strong enough to let it go. Letting go, moving on! But alas you could never leave the memories behind. You never react but you know those moments shall always exist with you in a form of memories. Something, that you would share with thyself and might be the most difficult aspect to share with anyone. Indeed, you never tried to and when you actually thought to say, you were locked into your own web of words. Nothing could justify and so you actually sealed it into you.

To people who are still not able to follow, what exactly I'm referring to, this is not my story, it is your story. This is about you. This is about those things which have chased you for long, like forever. I know you don't want to talk about it. You are shy that if you share, you will be judged on that and you don't want that to happen. You have a fear, yet you are strong enough just ones more not to share it all and ignore at ones the whole. It's not important to talk about it today. Today have nothing to do with yesterday, just as you say! But how can I forget that all that was yesterday, helped you in building your today just as you are today.

Tough times, often the uncontrolled one are difficult moments anytime. Where letting go seems only a way to run away from memories. But believe me, when the situations pushed you in darker dull depths of pain and agony, there will also be circumstances where there shall be the heights positive possibilities and great graceful chances. Thinking hard is not bad, it's really good until and unless you know that someday you will end up to some concrete solution to the puzzle.

All you need to do is to find a person with whom you can talk about it. Talk does not necessarily need to be one which has to be interesting or sound extraordinary. Talk is a talk. It's a sharing. You are not inventing or discovering anything new in it. It is a comfort zone, you say to fill gaps, spaces and pauses. And in the process you also derive the secret of sharing and formula of healing. You definitely need to talk and bring out all that you thought for years and also things you think as today. A change of prospect as well as a self-introspection of thoughts and emotions. The day you gather that little courage to not make efforts to hide and have that strength to share and not feel apologetic, you will see how the things that always haunted you actually have healed. You will feel light, you will feel glad like a mission accomplished, like acknowledging your own emotions and shades of secret sentiments.

If you think you can write better than talking, go for it.
Just bring it out in any form in whole that even you can figure out the pattern of things and get clarity in thoughts. Confide to build your your own confidence. There is nothing more cheering in life than winning over our own chaos of emotions.

The problems sometimes to you does not appear as "pain." You tend to easily busily push it out of sight like a routine thing. You need to recognize the pain you are experiencing, or else you cannot understand anything further in this respect. No matter how true and understandable your present pain is, it is nevertheless the same thing and sure you know it. And seriously, the hurt of your current problem is the very same old hurt. This something a bit awkward yet to you sounding normal, have been existing even before a long long time you actually got aware of it. The time is when you will know when you need to do it. You need not force thyself hard. Rather accept the consequences calmly.

The remedy lies solely in you.
Let the clouds settle and you see celebration of the tough moment of your life which after all molded you. Be a candle to your own dark thoughts, a coach to celebrate and cherish everything in life, every hurt, every pain and every agony of shame. You are supposed to be loved and you indeed love limitless exclusively. Please do not control your warmth, simply continue considerably your affection flow! Somethings never surpass but surprises. Make your memories as a part of miracles.
Let the words unsaid be heard, feeling unexpressed be showed, learnt the way to read - read the unread, read the blank pages and fill them with glory and glitter!

Let the blank pages of life be filled with words and wishes, moments and momentum. Whatever happens or happened has to be healed with rising hope in heart!
~ Keep the Spark ALive..
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26 May, 2012

Daily Crosswords!

Will there be long sighs
Or silence in stare, you will notice
Let there be a whisper
Yet screaming out
In the form of loud heartbeat!

Should I be the yellow lilies?
As you touch the soft petals!
Let me be its sweet scent,
Slowly sinking into
Your longing lungs!

How would I tell you?
How would you like to hear?
How can I explain?
How could you understand the description?
Should I say in simple words?

Words really simple,
And simply straight
Or should I make it a rhyme
Quote my heart
And lock my soul,
In an honest handwritten love letter.

Let it rain, a run for life
Tasting raindrops,
Aching for taste of air,
Arching for breath!
Beautiful things emerge
Submerged in joy!

Window curtain raiser
A little light,
Spills into the space
Welcome to summer!

Long is the road
Leads me home
Light finds its way
Light shall find me anyways!

You have to lose everything
Lose yourself with me
No matter how lost I am,
Let go everything only for me!

Enduring enriching
Eventually looking up!
Fall again like this
Fixed on the feet
Floating in love!

So let me fly, as there is
Wind beneath my wings
Let me flap my wide wings
Fluttering finally!

Making castles
Moving with clouds
Carrying me with a canvas
Creating new sketches
Building new stories!
Warmth in words!

Feel free like
Never before
Please unfold
And make me flat
Crease free, carefree!

Daily display of,
Bowing, dipping but quietly
Like the peaceful dove
Blue dotted paper inked life!

Please uncross
Your fingers now!
In an unsolved puzzle
The pieces are,
Fixed ultimately!

d'verse : Writing a stream of consciousness poem.

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23 May, 2012

Winter rains in dark night

rain drops dripping at the window pane..

Last out the waiting,
Winter rains pouring,
Running over old stories,
Emotions flood,
And ruining all over,
Murmuring thundering,
Shivering trembling,
The darkest hour!
Just before the dawn!
There was a dark room
And we were together,
I was scared of weary weather,
Dim mysterious dull walls,
And right there as I saw,
A shadow shade on the wall,
Shoulders posed secure and composed,
Snuggle close in the darkness,
It suddenly made me feel so warm,
I could be forever in a dark room,
If I was tight locked in your arms!

  • The picture above is taken from the movie, 'Dil to Pagal hai' featuring Madhuri Dixit and Shahrukh Khan.
  • Written for d'verse
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17 May, 2012

Some Tough Decisions

"Nothing pains some people more than having to think."
- Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929 - 1968), American Clergyman and Activist

The picture below is contributed by very talented photographer 'Sandeep Rathod'! Do check his awesome unique art of photography by clicking on his name below.
*For the picture below ALL RIGHTS RESERVED so Kindly do not copy it in any case!
© Sandeep Rathod Photography

I thought people are successful because they struggled and persistently worked hard.
But they keep coming to me saying that they have made so many compromises in their life to be successful or be at this top of the pyramid structure. Honestly, not being rude but I don't get them at all. I wonder are they trying to tell me that they have made too many compromises in life, or they wanted me to notice that they are quite successful right now in their life or they are simply putting light on the compromise section of their life and overshadowing their success.

Whatever they mean in real, I being truly empathetic only comprehend that though being on top people still regret of making certain decision in life which they call it as compromise. Our human emotions are built in such a way that we like to sob and still state that we are successful. It's funny to be identified as a martyred hero for the decisions we take.

Lets not get down, discussing whose phase in life have been more difficult. Each one us have our own share of tough time to deal with.

I have also made few decisions in my life which were tough for me to take. Yet those tough choices I made are not the compromises. They are neither settlements nor were any kind of sacrifices. They were tough decisions to shape up the current reality then, based on the circumstances which were not in control at that point. Perhaps circumstance can never be controlled, and we often deny completely to understand this simple fact.

Some decisions were for, "firmness of purpose"; some for only a "sense of purpose"; some were "resolution"; and some decisions were simply "conclusions".

There is a series of priorities in one's life and we need to list them, scroll them to and fro, rank it and perhaps implement them in life. That what is life and that what we are made up of the progression of integrated priority. Warm up have a flexible approach and keep exercising it to excel further.

I heartily respect and appreciate when people say their life is quite eventful. There are chapters in the book of life. Some chapters interests people and some grab only our attention in simple little stanzas.

Some choices we make for people around and some decisions we take for thyself! Perhaps, still if you call your decisions a sacrifice since they were taken for other's sake, then sure those sacrifices at the end made you only stronger.

Let's, "give thought to"; "give priority to"; "pay attention to"; "be devoted to" ; "be dedicated to" be the words chosen by you when you are admitting that you were made alone by the choices you created in life.

Reflect on your past decisions, good or bad, easy or tough, learn from the mistakes made and never forget to celebrate on your triumph too as "Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions." - Mark Twain. Pat your back for being strong and sailing away calmly during the hurricanes of life. Cherish your decisions!

What I have learnt in life is that,
What we are today, are not the compromises or sacrifices we made in life.
We are the product of passion in priorities we make to enrich our as well as other's life. Indeed, you are only growing and evolving in your life with your tough decisions.
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