Drenched in Rain

By the beginning of the month July, the city has got the shower of the monsoon-blues. Highly thick dark clouds, mist and fog, dribble drizzles and absolute unplanned moody sudden outpour.

I’m longing for some sun-shine past some days. However, the humidity and essence earthy smell of the grass, captures and enclaves the emotions every time when it sprays.

I stand by my open window facing some sprinkling drizzles of rain-drops with the cool breeze enveloping me. Though, I’m fully aware of the chaos of the street during rain, yet nothing, just nothing hampers or diverts my concentration to think about the endearing moments.

Yes! In a way I’m still so much hooked with this short and sweet series of moments and memories of the monsoon. The interesting part is it’s not at all about cozy romantic instances. Yet, I cannot resist the thoughts and shivers I get thinking about him.

That day too it was raining! Indeed raining so heavily.
He came running from the rain half drenched and panting heavily. I was absolutely not sure if he or anybody shall come. But among all others he was the first one arriving.

Drenched in rain @ Sameer
Click on the picture to see the enlarged view

As he came, my mom soon gave him a towel to dry his hair. Then a soup was given to keep him warm. But he chooses cold drink despite of shivering. I was glancing at him far from the other room, though he had no idea that he was being observed. And as I came, it was like the right time, right motion, right mood, right dress…absolutely all was right by the rite of the flash. He looked at me, and I knew, I was looking stunning this day. Slowly, I saw others too arriving muddied and disheveled due to rain. Sure looking through the swarm it looked like a quite good grand get-together.

We all had lots of fun together. The round of cold-drinks and followed by the snacks passed. Fine dinner and sweet smell of cake, just everything was so apt. Subsequently, one of my friends asked me to come to other room. She said it was quite important and need to discuss.
“There are so many guests, will talk to you latter”, I said ignoring the matter.
She again insisted and all of a sudden dragged me to the other room.
“What’s so important…?” I irritably questioned.
“Look yesterday by mistake I told him everything, I’m so sorry” she said

The moment I heard this, it felt as if the ground got shifted from my feet. I could not believe it; my best friend could do so. I trusted her so much.

We came back in the party crowd. It felt as if all the eyes were following me. The feeling was really bad and inexplicable. Though I didn’t feel like a convict culprit. Until, I went to serve him a glass of water, he looked at me so keenly and deep into my eyes and said softly, “I know everything now; I didn’t expect this from you.” The fleeting moment got trapped with the heart-beat skip and hound.

I wondered if the things were so good that he least expected from me or the things were so bad that he didn’t expect this from me. The statement was contradicting and beyond my generous age to comprehend. But one thing was sure that though everything was right according to rite, it followed the heavy rain and things got so confusing right then. I needed time to bloom into the cherish moments.

I was then so shocked with the response. Perhaps, I don’t blame him for the words he said. Yet, just curse myself for the fault I had in preserving the secret which slipped. Being around the crowd, I could not say anything to his words. I just kept my smile intact, yet avoiding the eye contact. What else I had any option left then to smile.

Smile at my innocence! Smile at my foolishness!

The party got over. Everyone including him left my room one by one. It was a God grace, the rain had stop for some time and for some thing. I waved everyone ‘bye’!
I came back into my little room. My bright little room full of pictures, posters, cards, dolls and toys. I sat on the corner of my bed and gave a glance to the precise place where he was sitting, smiled again for no reasons.

Thunder storm and sudden outpour happened inside and outside. It again started raining heavily outside and I cried here sitting inside the room. I quickly rushed to lock the door to skip showing my tears to anyone. My tears were only for me. I looked myself in the mirror, red nose, watering eyes, faint face, all glow in vain. This wasn’t me.

Conflicting minds views, unreasoning emotions, outpour, irritating and jolt thoughts all at the same time divergence with me. This was a new feeling. Something I have never experienced before. This was sure different, the way I gave attention to self… and my altered thoughts. This is not what I deserve especially this very day. My 13th Birthday, perhaps my first teen’s year!

To every thunder, it hurts,
To every raindrop, I felt!
I still feel the same, when it rains. Still when, it is raining today, I feel like yesterday. Though, today I’m nineteen, perhaps my last teen’s year....

I got chocked my throat with sudden stirring emotions. I took a long breath, closed my eyes in pain, and I could feel the same and perhaps that rain. This is me, “Ruhaan” and not 'she', for I’m reading a letter which I got on my 25th birthday, a letter which looks quite old, bit torn and have no connecting-dots. Perhaps, no trace-back marks found. She moved to the other city after her 13th Birthday without leaving any contacts or hint. And today all of a sudden with the rain still falling outside drenching and dripping through the pine leaves; I reach out for her heart through this clueless-letter. I too got drenched in the rain with no concrete answers or no constructive question, some things unsaid and many unfinished lines, left at the end...!
~ Perhaps, wish if this means, ongoing or in progress!

Note:

• Hope you like this post...do revert back with your views in the sweet comment:)

• Thanks so much Sameer for letting me use this picture. Which is just so beautiful and apt for this post! You are truely talented and should keep up with you passion :))
• ~ Keep the Spark ALive..