Goodbye

While he was leaving back for home in the office-bus, he could not get my glance in the bus. Soon he decided to call off today going by the office-bus. And straight away he came to the nearby cafe, where we used to hang around after office hours and interestingly he found me sitting all alone with two cups of warm coffee, both cups cold and untouched. And before he could ask or say anything to me, I said in a low voice yet intact tone, “I was waiting for you here...come sit...we need to talk”

He sat next to me. I was so angry and he could sense that.
Well after repeating in mind few lines how to break the ice, he said with conviction, “I’m really sorry for my being so rude to you today in the office”.
“It okay...” I said instantly. He wondered if that really did not bother me or I was still angry on him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. He understood there was something else that was bothering me.
“You should have told me...you considered me as your best friend, isn’t it...then why you have hid this from me” I said in one breath.

He was so much puzzled...what was that bothering me so badly..?
Suddenly I uttered, “She is your girl-friend, since how long...you never told me about her, all you said you like her?”
He visualized, “Okay...it was this which was bothering me so much, but then second thought came to his mind soon but why she is getting so hyper over it.”
He asked me to calm down but I was unwilling to hear anything than what actually was asked. He tried getting precise yet candidly said “few days back she proposed me and I said yes.”

I kept staring him hard without a single blink.
“There was a silence after the storm or may be a silence before a storm, no it was rainstorm!” he exclaimed silently. A tear slipped my cheek...and I swiftly picked my bag and walked away.
_There was no time to react, he asked me to stop but I did not pay attention towards him. Disconcert on my tall heals I walked away. He crushed down the chairs in the cafe and rushed behind me. He caught my hand. As he squashes his body towards mine and his face towards mine, as he gasps surge down my face and saw my dark eyes wet-wild in pain.

He could understand yet ignored eavesdrop his heart pounded aloud and shout, “Boy, this girl loves you...just as much as you do”. Though the same still moment he also knew, staring at my watering eyes that this was about to end...the bond we shared have frozen in confusions and expectations to learn each other.

I still maintained my damn silence but my dark moist eyes said more than a single story.

He could not resist and decided to confess the whole without being asked for. Because he knew, I would never ask for an explanation nor would I understand without being said it all.
“Why didn’t you tell me this...O God, why I could not ever understand what you felt so implicate intensely and your unspoken urge?” He said without a hesitation.

“I have always liked you...but feared of losing you and your friendship, which is so precious to me...hence I could never make up my mind to tell the truth above all you always got so irritated with the word ‘love’ every time I mentioned...” he in a lament tone said in continuity in pain in the moment of misery.

I waited for my wish, if he whispers holding my wrist, ‘Don’t Go’...

Though, soon with an unheard notion I left the place at ones saying ‘Goodbye!’ which more or less echo in my life...

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It was early morning I suddenly woke up, it was still dark. I felt a bit giddy and bushed, thought may be because of sheer bad dream I saw.
I wondered, “How could I ever say Goodbye to him for he is sure a very special person of my life!”

I can still recall when I saw him first; he was sitting at the corner of the window of the office-bus, listening to his iPod with his dark brown shabby hair falling over one eye. Then he looked at me and everything froze. We had joined the office as trainees and were new to the place and people.

We got introduced and quickly became friends.
It was that moment almost 8 months back when he hardly gave a tiny glance over me and here is the other string of the meeting when he almost every day hold a seat for me next to him in the office-bus and we go every alternate day for the coffee outside also make sure to meet sometimes at weekends. Life is really good when he is around!

Absolutely he has found a great friend in me.
And I do share unbound so many of my secrets and stories with him.
_I sure trust him lot indeed for he did help me to come out of the trauma I was suffering from a bad-relationship break-up. He was definitely a ‘Godsend’ at those poignant moments for me.
No hiding or secret, even I consider him as one of my very close friend, in fact more than a friend, though he does not know...for certainly because of the past incidents I doubt my feelings every time I get butterflies in my stomach...

Tringgggg.....wakeUp Alarm call

Indeed it was the most irritating ear-piercing sound of the alarm clock. It was an alarm to wake up though I woke up before time today in early morning. Suddenly I realised, I did yesterday walked away from the cafe. And soon everything I remembered.
Yesterday was a longest day of my life, “I was in the cafe, with two cups of coffee on my table....”

"I did say Goodbye....but he was not around...” Actually he never turned up to meet me in cafe yesterday. “He didn't chase after me or catch my hand...”

I remembered that I said ‘Goodbye’...
..to the lingering attachment,
..to the happy duet times,
..to the gigantic giggling sound on silly gist...
..to the care he took for everything..
..to the way he pampered me purposely being a buddy.

_In reality, I have been as a regular practice waiting for him everyday same time past 7days to share a lot of stuff happened recently in my life, in office. But may be only today I have woken up to the real truth...where neither actually he knows what a lot I feel for him nor he ever tried penetrating into my eyes or heart to know the genuine.

Dishearten and gloom lying all dull on my bed. I kept thinking a lot...about him and about many things related to him..! In my mind, I believed I couldn't go on. I cried, I screamed. Couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate, and couldn’t do anything and on the other hand I had any idea what to do next. I could feel my heart sinking and fragile.

But what after so much I’m still not willing to acknowledge the fact that we have actually parted from being friends... (reasons unknown thrashed upon us). So he moved on with her only to avoid further complications would have or were having to some extent.

No! it wasn’t a rejection...I soon reflected that sometimes good-bye are good only to give you enough time to decide being fair and choose the correct thing and not grabbing a sheer chance, by chance.

It was good-bye but I never gave up...my good-will!

“And I never wanted him and his girl-friend to part away...” I murmured lying on my bed watching the ceiling...

I learnt then that Goodbye was just a word...I closed my eyes and still wished all well for him every passing moment..
“I did owe him...if not completely or precisely his presence yet his forth friendship...” I held candidly.

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Goodbye (c) rachi creations..
to Enlarge view click the picture

Ikept poised and followed the grace of gradual time.
It’s almost a month passed. I said goodbye to summer and said hello to spring...though only I know how difficult it is to gain from a Goodbye glitch!
We still keep looking each other from the distance without a word being shared yet thousands of best-wishes passing on while we exchange an awkward smile.

Goodbye doesn’t decide to create the last chapter yet relatively it starts with new bloom beginning depiction. It’s a prospective and phrases to believe in a simple yet a compound word description.
+ In brief Goodbye makes us grow!!

“I grew with it...and looked around what else the little world holds for me...which is grand and gentle than Goodbye”

I’m glad that I had a fraction of his time as a friend, yet I truly mean that ‘I said Goodbye’
...But then I’ve been gifted by the wonderful bits of memories preserved.
It provides me a miraculous making with merry moments of my Wonderland yet it grants temporary getaway from the rude-reality.

...i said Goodbye to word Goodbye..

_So that here I can recall the sweet strong smell of summer cold coffee in the cold bleak winter day while sipping the hot mug of delicate dark chocolate. Or in the middle of conversation with someone who has just heard me speak, I wonder if my words and ideas were his...

~ I looked upon the flawless illusion and got moved at the colourful butterfly features, grazing, fluttering in the fleeting time...surviving a smile against the gusty breeze!

+ And now often I prefer to say ‘Hi’ and when circumstance compel to part...I learnt to say gratifying ‘Thank- you’ which is grand, gentle and more gracious than 'Goodbye'... to Celebrate the glory of goodtime we had together, which I shall ceaselessly cherish in goodwill and in good faith!...

~ Life has its own way; style, spark and gear to teach you tiny tints of edify evident means to be ALive... I said Goodbye to word Goodbye...

~Keep the Spark ALive..

Note: The above drawing is made by thyself as an extension of Rachi Creations..

This is a series of love.
~ For I don’t hate-love-story!