25 January, 2011

few friends are just more than friends

NOTE: As the title goes, this is a request please do not turn down my words by simple misinterpretation. Kindly read this post with an open mind. Without bothering to bring the gender issue for it is a post to deal with a little extra care and handled with grace!

Past few weeks I have this very strange feeling so thought to share it with you all. I have been noticing some really major changes in the prospective of things. This is a thing which I though knew it, I have never tried expressing it ever to anyone and as the matter of fact is even I was in a way ignored by my own views deliberately.

Okay the thing is that, I want right words to express...
Though, any language of the world in not that rich to have a word to express which I really want to. Yeah this info is true to the best of my knowledge.

The quote is;
We are not Just friends or confirmed great friends BUT...

This is so much applicable to any gender or opposite sex people. Well I know this is getting so confusing yet I will try to give few examples to explain and express the best.

Example one:
I have my school friends. And indeed plenty are on the list and more to be added. Most of them are from my own class so definitely we know each other quite well. Yet there are many who were in the school, know me as an acquaintance and hence titled as friends. Nothing wrong in this I guess!

My issue here is...these days I find the word ‘friend’ so small yet so common that I’m not able to express my extra special feeling to that someone special.

I mean though all are my friends but there are just very few who are truly my closest buddy and are more than just friends.
My school friends particularly the group of girls “Mg’s” are the perfect example to give and say...that they are my friends, may be the best friends and yet my buddies but addressing them saying that they are my friends...is not fair or just too less to express.

As, I know they are definitely more than friends for the bond we share and have been sharing, yet after all this I don’t know how to title them. They are not just friends but those are like my own sisters though I know we don’t share any blood lines yet they are just very close to my heart. So it is complex but so beautiful. It's cuddlier, it's more endearing.

Say its like, few relationships have no name yet people claim to be forever friends! Indeed what an irony!!

It’s like, I know those few are my friends (could be a girl or a boy) and we share a closest bond yet I know that there is only a word called as ‘friend’ that would be used to describe them, no matter how special they are to me and I’m for them.

...I want a new word to define
my warmth my affection   my care
concern for my special bonds..!
And this particularly is actually bothering me.
I want to a new word to define my warmth, my affection, my care for them.

Often we tend to address such people like, well-wisher, buddy, supporter, fan, admirer, mate and pal as an extension of being friend or being just more than a friend.

I thought, ‘soul-mate’ was the closest best word, I could use but perhaps not everyone with accept the word precisely and willingly.
I think, ‘buddy’ was another closest word and best to use it in a friendly term and perhaps everyone will appreciate it yet not fulfilling, I guess!

Indeed, not all relationships have names!
Or I’m just too lazy to define them those are ‘soul-bonds’. I share this with my best of few friends who are girls and yet few are boys. (So GENDER is not an issue here...kindly keep this in mind while going through the post.)

The thing or the feeling is when you come across such person, irrespective to the gender; you just know the spark is there. You just know he/she understands you the best way. And perhaps you know you are not judged on words or not read as a pretention. The whole vibe and aura is so beautiful when the two of you come across, share a word and instantly open your world of thought without any hesitation.

Come ‘on they cannot be just friends we know this clearly for we are so sure sharing a huge strong bond. The bond could be created long back ago and with age got matured so we respect that attachment. Or the bond could be created newly where heavenly stars instantly play its magic and you feel so connected either meeting after many years or meeting recently.

Example two:
Perhaps, I know all my blogger friends are my friends and we definitely share some common ground of creativity and thoughts. But there are few just very few and special one, not just friends, or buddies but we share a bond. I feel like a family with them. Really...no matter how virtual world could be, I could not resist this genuine connection!

~ And again when I go back to my school mates and college mates, I cannot refuse to accept a certain inclination for certain few people. Some of those have come up with a long race distinct the distance and time and stood by me in all thick and thin of different phase of my life.

~ Yet there are also few who moved on in their life in a flow and latter when they stood at the heap on the top alone found me creating a rapport like never before. The feeling is like we never left each other ever and started along just when we got in touch.

~ Perhaps, it is also possible that such people are the one with whom you might not have shared many experience, might not have been in touch, might not have shared a word for a long time but definitely when got connected; nothing could defy the mutual fondness shared.

And those people are one who will never complain why we never spook, why we could not make it in past, why there is a why in our life, cause’ this is how we build our strong bond and this is how we will cherish it in the long run. And perhaps we are so glad that we have a fact ‘how’ we are still so related in the goodness!

Possibly with my all those so called friends but more than friends, I enjoy this feeling in thyself  “there is something that have kept us together intact in a sacred pose no matter how many conflicting issues arrived.

Actually at this juncture of life,
I got plenty of people who are my friends. Yet today, I want friends only who understands me the best without me giving every explanation about what I actually mean. I want an easy-going conversation. Where I’m not picked for my words but comprehend for my emotions. I do not want to have a college kind of casual chat where I’m constantly misinterpreted first and then latter clarifying all correctly missing the core.
  • I want my special one on my side where confidently I can say ‘you belong with me’!
  • I want to be free of adjectives while I’m explicitly expressing my likes and dislikes list.
  • And I want to be where I’m just pulling their legs on different levels of dialogues.
  • And them still getting my witty humour just right...
  • It is where not all friends do, but there are just few more than friends acting just so complementary and complimentary.

And here I’m in a position where we might not be agreeing on everything and every time but the respect for the emotions, freedom of thoughts and sharing the same without holding back is being appreciated in every long or small conversation made.

Everybody had a theory, a personal way of being and expressing to calculate the life mysteries. I believe, I got mine so here I’m sharing above my quote of life that I’m following these days to simplify the complexity of relationships and recreating a simple formula by accepting and being aware of the highly intensify attraction of bonds brought together.

I still need to figure out more. But I’m just too happy to see that I have created my own list of those special ones and treating them well as they deserve it.

Okay, the bottom line is I’m still in a quest of that correct word to define that special bond which is more than a friend.

Yet I know, the verbatim line is actually, 'Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose'! That is in similar vein to Shakespeare's 'a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'.
That's like an interpretation given by me that though I’m searching the word to address that special bond yet I know they are still my friends and special one too.

And perhaps, I should not stop by calculating life mysteries as the mystery is so beautiful when unsolved.
So I’m enjoying the telepathy we are sharing, the dreams we are exchanging and the hiccups while remembering.

Finally, I feel so good and focused that as far as possible I’m able to come up with something very complex...yet I got so clueless to define...but I'm enjoying this mix feeling which is truly resulting into a conclusion I guess!!

And clueless venture where I’m busy in acknowledging the deep dynamics of relationships which is changing, my obsession and attachments with those few special one mounting. I’m admitting the same to them these days and with a hope that they will understand my innocent intention of evolving and gratifying to our friendship and bond nourished.

Indeed, the essence is so pure to create and care the new chum!

If you have enjoyed the above post, you will also like this post too, "One moment of Undefined Relationship"


  1. So True, Rachana. I must say we are lucky to have many friends all along - some special and dear, and some always near. Still all come under the purest word - Friend!!!
    We have always read the below mentioned quote in may of the forward emails we receive -
    "The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch with, never say a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you have ever had."
    Reading this and knowing that each word is as true as a dew and am lucky to say I really have a few with whom I treasure those days in present and keep thinking of those good moments even when we are far..
    Wonderfully each word has been chosen in this blog post - Special ones are very special - may not be in 1 word, but with them - it means 1 whole world for us.

  2. Thank you very much for the excellent article .

  3. @jayalakshmi

    I'm just so happy to see your comment in my blog and perhaps happier to see you visited and liked it!
    It is always a wonderful feeling to see when people agree with your words n lines..and when a friend a special one actually agrees upon it...nothing could be better!!
    Great feeling Jaya...sacchhhi..
    Love yeah..
    And Definitely i knw and i think u should also know...we are ind developing stage and perhaps I do count u into my friend-list of SPECIAL one :))
    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

  4. @surkhab
    Thanks so much Surkhab :)
    Glad You liked it..

  5. The most striking feature of this post is the natural flow like a small stream that has shaped up after a monsoon rain . . . Unplanned . . . Evolved . . . . And unfinished . . . Various strata of nuance emotions . . . . . Coming to the topic . . . I guess the perceptions differ depending on the type of relations one has experienced in life . . . Some relations cannot be compartmentalised or categorized . . . . . But we definitely feel them more than friends . . And circumstances make it more substantial in complex emotional reflexes . . . May be the emotional quotient plays strategic role here . . . . . In some cases the line will be thin but .intense . . But yeah i cherish people who are more than friends in my life . . . . Anyways keep bringing up such fresh aroma with every leap you spark . . . with pleasant Humming

  6. Thats really true Rachana. With some ppl u just feel so easy to relate to that, just calling them 'friends' seems like an insult... but in the day and age of FB where everyone is in your 'friend list' I guess u cant help it. But I feel just the mere whibes u have with someone defines ur relationship with them, u dont really need a name. :)


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