form for all : framed couplets
Such exist real long long time ago
Such a lenghty decade passed it too,
Sipping almost the last drop of drinks
And mugging up with goodbye and blinks,
There was such a true spark between us
It was so real, wasn’t it glorious?
I found a smile, the most genuine smile!
You found eyes, most beautiful eyes!
In a crowd, when people blurred,
When honest thoughts sank so abruptly
When the time was moving on swiftly,
And maybe you were moving slowly
So unclear to take next step quickly,
Then you focused keenly straight on me
Moving a little nigher illume,
You unhurried and quite clever moves
You pulled me close! Apologies!!
Unbound sea of turmoil emotions
Kissed me beneath silver hoop earring,
Great secrets unlikely be hidden
Essence intimacy awoken,
Sudden quick thrust, seriously felt
A push and pull of reality built
A dream with a complete new twist
Nothing as such amorous happened!
Just as you delicately whispered!
Those were the three kind admiring words,
'You look pretty..' tone a bit awkward
They were not exact prettiest words,
as I actually expected,
But I was left for longing amused!
My right touch of the sincere shyness!
Your warmth rushing into me agrees!
A rare emotion, a real feeling,
We, you and me, were sort alluring,
Couple of people left accomplished
Recognize memories unfaded!
It was over, but so unfairly,
Party was over casually,
Such unfolding real long darkest times,
We parted emotions dismiss,
So unpredictable, never counts
Just the couple of missing minutes,
Were only the sheer lasting moments,
Unable to leave with unsaid words..
we were the last to leave the party
Utterly uncertain destiny,
Unwilling to unaccompanied,
Look what people literary said,
They thought we would never ever meet
We actually met, by God's grace!
You and me reunited so worthy,
Dedication is worth waiting for
Being brave means something to risk for,
Finally realized magnitude,
Of the love, I had for years for you
Unbreakable vow it has been since
Run into your arms, Kissing Crying
And hiccups unexpected! Oh yes!
Clearly, I'm not lonely thinking that,
Certainly, You still feel my heartbeat!
Impatient blossom tugs and hugs
Let universe melts down warming us,
Celebration outside party hall
Our story isn't over after all,
Party isn't over, one last call,
Until we meet, unless melt one,
Brings together, end missing someone,
Talk of the town secret not hidden
Mending Stories to be sure revealed,
For ages wondered, wish I could have..
Wish you would have been here like always..
Smiles to be heard,hugs to be shared
Strongest souls ever to be called,
After all this and lots of struggle
We made great couple, didn't we cuddle!
Thankyou Beachanny for making me understand the basics of this format of writing, I actually enjoyed it ones, I was trying to grasp it. I shall try to write such formats further in future. Though this act is still not the perfect one in sonnet, but I tried, and I guess a bit accomplished ones you guided me! Thank you for having patience. Loved this challenge!
- Written for d'verse
OK Rachana - This is a beautiful story, and I read it all. It speaks of a powerful emotion. The words are descriptive, possibly accurate to the occasion. However, as it stands it would have to be labelled free verse and probably more accurately a prose poem. Not that there is anything wrong with that. However, it doesn't meet the definitions of the "form" we are working on today.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you would like to take this as an outline. You will need to make the first syllables of each couplet (two lines) rhyme, as well as rhyming the end of the lines: thus the name "framed" couplets. The first syllables should be stressed followed exactly by unstressed/stressed syllables four times (making one stressed syllable plus four iambic feet) totaling nine syllables with alternating stresses.
It takes a while to compose. This is not a form that can flow as spoken speech. Hope this helps.
Thankyou Beachanny for making me understand the basics of this format of writing. I realized I was missing some really big chunks of basics in this post. But now I have changed a bit of it to suit the structure been asked for. Thought still it is not that perfect, or nearly good one.. But I think I understood your point. I actually enjoyed it ones, I was trying to grasp it. I shall try to write such formats further in future. Though this act is still not the perfect one in sonnet, but I tried, and I guess a bit accomplished ones you guided me! Thank you for having patience. Kindly check and let me know any concerns.
DeleteLoved this challenge!
wow that is quite the journey to love isnt it...and quite the couple in the end...hey i will take it...smiles...nice bit of intimacy there in the middle as well...
ReplyDeleteI honestly read this from top to bottom , than from bottom and up. it was a powerful story either way I read it. I had the same intensity about couple either way I read it.
ReplyDeletehttp://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/blog/2012/04/regardless-i-believe-in-love.html
Quite some story here! I enjoyed it very much. At places it is so intimate and sensual, then it is gentle and tender. Very powerful story. Nice!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed it Rachana... Beautiful emotions and I'm struck, not sure what to type here...
ReplyDelete"Of the love, I had for years for you
Unbreakable vow it has been since
Run into your arms, Kissing Crying
And hiccups unexpected! Oh yes!"
Oh yes, this is the one of the beautiful creations by the creator...!
An emotional composition, rich in texture and personal symbolism.
ReplyDeleteI'm stunned by your versatality.... you're a genious and truly blessed to ur frnd.. I loved this story and also this format. all in all a great stuff..
ReplyDeleteI have already said..I come with the expectation of magic here..and you have never let me down..your keenness and persistence to learn is admirable.. keep learning and writing and therfore evolving .. Rachana..
ReplyDelete